


redamancy ; minsung

by lovelyverhao



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 00' liner squad, Fluff, HighSchoolAU!, M/M, Parties, School, Strangers to Lovers, Underage Drinking, but also angst, cursing, i will mention trigger warnings, im bad at tagging, inspired by skam lol, jisung is confused, maybe homophobia ?, minho a whole hottie, pan!minho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-08-23 09:09:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16616066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyverhao/pseuds/lovelyverhao
Summary: Jisung is convinced that he is straight. He had a girlfriend and made out with one during a party. Everything was okay until he met a boy named Lee Minho, who turned everything upside down. At this moment, he questions everything and is only confused. His confusion leads him to do things that will not only effect him but also other people in his environment.





	1. chapter 1

It’s another boring school day, where Han Jisung and his friends are walking through the hallway, crowded with students. Some of them are at the teal blue colored lockers, leaning against them with their books in their arms, chatting about typical things while  
others are walking in the same direction as Jisung or in the opposite. The room, they are aiming for, is the school lounge, where they usually hang out when a lesson gets cancelled. This is their favorite thing to do: Chilling in the lounge, while chatting about the hottest news and rumors.

“Guys did y’all heard about the party that Yerim planned at her place?”, asked Hyunjin the round, turning his head in the direction where his friends are walking to see their response.

Felix nods his head rapidly. “Yeah. Apparently, it would be a wild party since she’ll invite some of the third-year students and they know how to make the party interesting.”

Seungmin and Hyunjin gasp shockingly, while Seungmin leads his fist to his mouth and Hyunjin lets out a weird chortle. 

Jisung is totally different from his friends. He is someone, who prefers to be in his room on a Friday night, wrapped in a soft blanket while reading a book or watching a TV show. His friends however like to go to parties, drink a little bit of alcohol and go out but fortunately they know their limit.

“Hello? Jisung? Is someone at home?”

Jisung shakes his head to come slowly back in to reality, turning his head to his friends, seeing how they look at him with an anticipating look on their faces.

“Huh? Sorry guys I was with my thoughts completely somewhere.” Jisung nervously laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Did you ask me something?”

Hyunjin groans annoyed, but afterwards a small smile appears on his face. “I asked, if you want to join us to attend to the party?”

“Hmm… I don’t know guys.”

“Come on, Jisung.” Felix whines, having pleading look on his face. “Only one party. Really. It’s going to be so cool. Please join us just one time.”  
Jisung lets out a small sigh. “I’m going to ask my parents.”

The three other boys are letting out a victorious laugh, while dancing wildly around Jisung. He just rolls his eyes, trying to hide his face behind his hands but still having a timid smile on his face. The other students around them click their tongues as they bump into the boys.

As they finally arrive their destination, they open the door and enter the room, expecting it to be empty. But instead there are two unfamiliar boys sitting in a corner, laughing about something. The four boys decide to ignore them, throwing themselves on the couch.

“God Mrs. Park is so annoying. She always nags about how we are a bad class even though she doesn’t treat us better”, rants Seungmin about his chemistry teacher. 

“So true. I do my homework all the time, but she always finds something to nag about.”

Jisung puts his right arm on the leather arm rest, so that he can rest his heavy head on his palm, trying (the keyword is _trying_ ) to focus on the conversation of his friends. Out of boredom and curiosity, his eyes land on the two boys in the corner near the table.  
When he came into the room first, he couldn’t recognize Bang Chan in the first moment (probably because his hair isn’t silver anymore but dark brown.) 

The other boy looks in Jisungs opinion handsome as hell: He has a straight button nose, chocolate brown eyes, a sharp jawline and dark brown hair. As if the pretty boy had a feeling that someone is staring at him, his eyes wander to Jisungs, making intensive eye contact with him. There is something mysterious about him. An aura Jisung never felt before. Suddenly the lips of the stranger curl in to a small smirk.

Jisung immediately turns his head to his friends, who are laughing at something while his lips curl into a smile. 

 

“Mom! Dad! I’m back!”

“Geez, you don’t have to scream so loudly, we can still hear you” hears Jisung the amusingly voice of his mother coming out of the kitchen.

Jisung jogs to the kitchen to see how his mom stands behind the stove, wearing a flower printed apron around her waist and cooking dinner for the family. 

“Hi, mom!” walks Jisung towards her, kissing her cheek softly. “How was your day?” 

“Tiring as always”, answers Mrs Han with tiring smile. “And how was school for you today, honey?”

“Good. Also, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“Uhm… So, there is this party on Friday”, Jisung starts the conversation, playing with the hem of his blue shirt. “And my friends want to go there and asked me if I can join them. Can I?”

“Who hosts this party?” asks his mother, turning her head in his direction.

“Kim Yerim. She is in the same class as me.”

“Who’ll drive you back home?”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know yet, but I can ask Seungmin if his brother can drive me back home.”

“You have my permission but let’s discuss it with your father.”

“Really? Thank you, mom.” Jisung kisses her cheek again as a thank you. “I hope you know, that you’re the best.”

She chuckles at his comment, turning her head back to the stove so that she can continue to cook.

“Can you please set the table and you call your father and sister that dinner is almost done?”

“Of course.”

 

Everyone at the table is quiet. The only sound you can hear is the rattling sound of the dishes. On Jisung’s right side sits his mother, on the left side his younger sister and vis-à-vis is his fathe, eating silently his meal. Jisung rasps, gulping one more time before asking his father. 

“Dad? I have a question?”

“Yes, son?” answers Mr. Han, putting his silverware on the table.

“My friends asked me if I can go with them to this one party on Friday night. It’s at a classmate’s place named Yerim and I’ll ask Seungmin if his brother can drive me home.”

His dad nods understanding his head, knitting his brows. “Sure, but no alcohol and I want that you are at midnight at home.”

“That’s too early. How about 0:30 a.m.?” requests Jisung.

“Not a minute later.”

“Thank you so much.” Jisung smiles brightly, continuing to eat happily his meal.

 

_**the fantastic four** _

_**jisung:**_ guys, my parents allowed me to go the party that means the first party with the whole squad

 _hyunjinnie:_  
really? 

_felixlix:_  
wHOAA  
it’s going to be legendary!!!

 _seungminnie:_  
nice dude!!!  
it’ll be lit!!

 _ **jisung:**_  
yo seungmin can your brothee drive me home?

 _seungminnie:_  
sure no thing!

 _hyunjinnie:_  
how long can you stay tho?

 _ **jisung:**_  
‘til 0:30 a.m.

 _felixlix:_  
ahhh good  
im so excited!!!

 _ **jisung:**_  
tbh im also kinda excited :)

 

Nobody expected that Friday is already around the corner. The week passed smoothly and fast by. It’s already evening, and the boys are in Seungmin’s room, getting ready for the party. While Jisung is lying with his stomach on Seungmin’s bed, playing with  
his phone, being able to hear how the boys are fighting in the background.

“Hyunjin, no! I already wear enough perfume!” Felix coughs, trying to escape from Hyunjin who chases after Felix to spray a little bit more perfume.

Seungmin agrees with Felix. “Hyunjin, man he wears enough.”

“Jisung, how do we look?”

He snaps his head up, observing his friends from head to toe. Hyunjin looks as handsome as always. He wears a white T-shirt with washed out jeans and a leather jacket over his shoulder. Seungmin’s outfit consists of a blue shirt and a white jeans and Felix wears some black jeans, a white shirt and a black blazer.

Jisung nods his head slowly. “You all look handsome.”

“Is this your outfit?” questions Felix.

“Yeah.” Jisung answers. “Is it okay for my first party?”

“Totally!”

Jisung’s outfit is very basic: Black ripped jeans, black T-shirt and a blue plaid shirt.

The boys walk to the bed, sitting next to him at the edge of Seungmin’s bed. 

“Han Jisung. Why the long face?” questions Seungmin, changing the tone of his voice to lighten up Jisung’s mood.

Jisung answers. “Nothing. I am just a little bit nervous, I guess. First party y’know.” His eyes are following Felix’s fingers, which are landing on the corner of Jisungs lips, pulling them up, leading that Jisung “smiles”. It kind of looks funny, bringing the boys to  
laugh even Jisung laughs with them.

“You ready?” asks Seungmin, while nudging with his elbow against Jisung’s arm. He only nods his head in response.

“Let’s go” shouts Felix excitedly in the round, throwing his fist in the air.

 

As they get out of the car of Seungmin’s brother, Jisung could feel the bass from the house in his chest. Inside the house you can see through the window the colorful light flickering and the silhouettes of the dancing guests. 

The group walks towards the door, with Hyunjin in the lead and he is the one who knocks on the door. A few seconds later the door opens and in front of them stands the host Yerim, holding a blue cup in her left hand.

She wears a white tank top with a white sheer shirt over it and black shorts, that covers half of her thighs. Her blonde, straight her reflect a little bit the color of the flickering light.

“Hello, Yerim. Can we come in?” Hyunjin asks with his typical smirk on his face that brings all the girls to melt. 

“Hello boys, sure come in.” Yerim greets them friendly, opening the door wider so that the boys can enter the house. 

All of them thank her while passing by. The music blasts out of the speakers, the air in here is thinner and muggy and in every corner, people are dancing to the beat, enjoying themselves. Some are standing at the wall, trying to have a conversation through screaming each other in their ears.

Yerim stands on her tip toes, shouting loud so that the boys can understand her. “In the kitchen are drinks and snacks, help yourself! Hope you’ll have lots of fun!” Afterwards she squeezes herself carefully through the crowd in hopes of getting on the dance floor. 

Hyunjin leans into Jisung’s ear, announcing that they’re going to grab some drinks. Jisung nods his head, following Hyunjin who is on his way to the kitchen. 

They see a couple making passionately out, pressing their bodies close to each other not wanting the other one let go. Jisung, the awkward guy he is, looks around, observing the room a little bit. 

In the middle of the dance floor, he sees how Yerim dances with her best friend Sooyoung, holding their cups up high, swinging their hips in the rhythm of the music and laughing loudly. On the couch sits a boy, who is currently flirting with a girl, who bites her lower lip and wraps a hair strand around her pointer finger.

Suddenly he feels how someone softly nudges in his ribs, leading that he turns his head to his friends where Felix holds two cups. One cup he hands to Jisung, who accepts it. He shortly looks in his cup and sees a transparent yellow, almost colorless liquid in his cup, which he swirls a little bit around.

“The first party with the squad! Cheers!” shouts Seungmin, holding his cup up high.

Everyone screams ‘cheers’ and they clink their cups, drinking two big gulps of their drinks. After he swallows it, he grimaces not knowing if he likes it or not. 

“And Sungie? How was your first drink?” Seungmin asks, taking a small gulp of his own drink.

“To be honest I don’t know if I like it or not.”

“We’ll see but now we come to the best part. Dancing.” Felix rubs excitedly his hands, walking already away with Seungmin and both disappear in the crowd.

Hyunjin joins them so does Jisung. While trying to squeeze himself through the crowd, he feels every touch of his body. No one of them cares that he wants to go through them, they ignore him. As he finally comes to the dance floor, he sees how Hyunjin already is involved in a conversation with a pretty girl (who Jisung recognized later that it’s a girl from the parallel class.) 

Someone tips with their fingers at Jisung’s shoulder, so he turns confused around and sees in front of him a petite girl, with raven black hair, collarbone long hair. She wears a white, tight dress, which flatters her body figure.

Jisung bends a little bit down, trying to hear what the girl has to say.

“Do you want to dance a little bit?”

“Sure!”

She grabs his hand softly, leading him to the perfect spot to dance. While walking there, both put their drinks on the glass table. The girl turns around, looping her arms around his neck while he puts his hands on her waist. Both start to dance to the music, letting the music guide them. The atmosphere here makes him all giddy, spreading a feeling of fun and enjoyment in his body.

He feels how the girls’ hand slowly crawls up to his neck, pushing him nearer to her. And in the next moment their lips touch. Automatically, he grabs her waist, pulling her body nearer to his while she’s tangling her arms tighter around his neck. Jisung feels how she presses her soft lips harder on his. As Jisung licks her under lip, she grants him access and lets him delve inside of her mouth. Through the sloppy tongue kiss, the girl lets out a soft moan.

The girl disconnects their lips, peppering many wet kisses on his jaw and neck. It feels kinda … _weird_ , which is why he pushes her carefully away, shouting in her ear: “I’m sorry, is it okay if I grab some fresh air? It’s hot and thick in here!” As an answer she nods her head.

Without looking behind, he squishes himself out of the dance floor, looking around where he can go outside. The garden is surely not an option since he can see many couples making out. But then he finds the stairs and goes them up. 

On this floor, the music is more dulled and here are fewer drunk people. On his left side, there is an open door which leads to the small balcony. Surprisingly, there is only no one standing there. He slowly goes through the door. The sudden change from the air makes him a little bit dizzy but it is still refreshing. He breathes the mild air through his nostrils. Jisung walks to grid, so he can lean against it. 

He closes his eyes, inhaling the fresh air in a certain rhythm. In the background, he hears footsteps coming nearer. The stranger goes through the glass door, walking towards the grid. Jisung ignores his presence and continues to breathe in and out.

“Are you here because of the bad air from inside?” sounds the soft, smoothly voice of the stranger.

Jisung turns his head to the stranger, being completely shocked who stands in front of him. It is the pretty boy from Monday morning. Pretty boy looks… _hot_. He styled his brown hair into a comma hair, while wearing some black jeans with a silver chain’s hanging on his belt loop and a bordeaux red shirt, exposing his skin a little bit. He tries to cover up his reaction up with his nonexistent coolness. 

“Yeah”, answers Jisung, a little bit surprised of how his voice sounds. “How about you?”

“Same”, responds the pretty boy. “I’m Minho.”

“I’m Jisung.”

“Nice to meet you Jisung.”

Minho reaches out his hand, which Jisung takes and lightly shakes.

“Nice to meet you too.”

Jisung realizes how long they’ve been shaking their hands that’s why he pulls his hand quickly back, sticking them into the pocket of his jeans. 

“So Jisung, what brings you to this party?” asks Minho, looking at Jisung with his soft brown eyes.

Jisung admits that Minho looks like the dream boy of every romantic book. Especially how the moon shines on him: his soft hair gleam in the moonlight, his flawless, bright skin stands and his eyes… the way they sparkle. 

After a few seconds, he realizes what a creep he is for staring at stranger who is expecting an answer from him. 

“Uhm… my friends brought me here”, stutters Jisung embarrassedly. “First party. Yay.”  
When he said ‘yay’ he throws half enthusiastically his hands in the air. Minho frowns in confusion, but afterwards his lip form in this heart throbbing smile. 

“Your first party? Wow, you must be someone who’s a stay-at-home”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders. “I just enjoy the warmth of my blanket.”

Minho laughs heartily. “Honestly, same.”

“And how about you? What brings you to the party?”

“Two dudes with the name Bang Chan and Kim Woojin”, responds Minho. “Thought it would be boring, but it turns out it’s the opposite.” 

“Cool”, mumbles Jisung, while he’s fishing his phone out of his phone, not noticing how Minho’s eyes follow his movements. Jisung groans annoyingly at the sight of his phone.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s 0:15 a.m.”, sighs Jisung, while sliding his phone back into his pocket. “That means it’s time for me to go home.”

“Oh, yeah that sucks”, agrees Minho. 

“So… I must look out for my friends. It was a nice convo, I guess. Good Night and enjoy the party!” says Jisung, while waving goodbye, which Minho returns.

Surprisingly his friends already wait at the door for him, so that they can leave. They wanted to say thank you and goodbye to Yerim but she is busy with herself, so they take a leave. At the same spot Seungmin’s brother is waiting for them. Everyone gets into the car, where Jisung is sitting at the window, his favorite place. After closing the door, he leans his head against the cold window, staring at the sky covered with the moon and many stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello:) this is like my first skz ff lol. im sorry for grammer mistakes english is not my first language. hope you enjoyed the first chapter :)


	2. chapter 2

Jisung stands in front of his locker, taking his heavy school books out, providing it in his black backpack and quickly closes his backpack with the zipper, throwing the bag afterwards on his shoulders, letting out a silent hiss from the weight on his shoulders. 

While gliding his thumbs under the straps of his backpack, he walks in the direction, where his next class is going to be. The students seem to be in a good mood (even though it is Monday) judges Jisung by the look on their faces. 

As Jisung arrives in the classroom, the first thing he sees is how his friends are gathered in the back of the classroom around Seungmin’s seat, listening what Hyunjin is talking about, who’s sitting on the desk in front of Seungmin’s seat with Felix on his left, while Seungmin sits on his own chair. Jisung walks towards them, greeting everyone with a handshake. 

He throws his bag at his desk, grabbing the chair near Seungmin’s desk to join the conversation.

“What’s the topic?” 

“About the party from Friday night.”

“I saw how our Sungie made out with a girl.” Hyunjin wiggles with his eyebrows, making Jisung to roll his eyes.

“Really?” gasps Felixs shockingly, but later he has this specific grin on his face.

“I saw it too. Damn, it was your first party and you are already wilding.”

“I know how to get the girls”, brags Jisung, while putting his hands behind his neck.

“You learned from the best”, says Hyunjin, having his chest out, raising his nose up high. 

Seungmin lets out an annoyed groan. “Oh my god, Hyunjin. Shut the fuck up you didn’t even give him any advices.”

“But from the experiences I’ve told him.”

Before Seungmin and Hyunjin could start a fight, Ms. Kang enters the classroom, who’s preparing the sheets for today’s lesson. This was the signal for the students to sit on their places. After everyone sat on their seat, the school bell rings to signalize that the history lesson is about to start.

During the lesson, Jisung couldn’t focus on the things Mrs. Kang is teaching them. He only hears briefly some random words, that didn’t help his brain. There is something, no someone, that brings him out of his concentration. Minho. There’s something about Minho, that makes him think about this boy. Jisung doesn’t know what it is, which makes it even more complicated for him. Was it his hair? His eyes? His appearance? His smile? 

_Hold on_ , thinks Jisung in this exact moment, _why do I even think about him? He is just a random dude from this school who I met at the party. There is no reason to think about him. I mean, I'm not gay nor am i bi or am i pan._

“Mr. Han is there a problem?” asks Mrs. Kang, who stands in front of the blackboard and just has stopped to write her sentence. 

Jisung coughs shortly before giving her an answer. “No Ms. Kang, couldn’t follow for a second why this was like this but now I understand.”

She frowns in confusion but turns around to continue to write the sentence on the board. Jisung lets out a small sigh, not realizing that has hold his breath for a few seconds. 

_Han Jisung, focus!_

 

After Mrs. Kang dismisses the class, the students pack quickly their books in their backpack, practically running out of the classroom. The four friends are running to the cafeteria to grab their lunch and trying that no one steals their table.

And they succeed. So, they sit on their regulars’ table, which is in the corner near the exit, eating their burritos. 

Felix hums loudly out of surprise. “I am honest: This is the first time that the lunch doesn’t fucking suck.”

“I agree. Normally it tastes like fucking trash but this one is so delicious.”

“Anyways, we all know that the food in school sucks except for today. But guys let’s talk about the party. So, Sungie who’s the girl you made out with? She looks kinda cute.”

“I have no fucking idea, forgot to ask and I actually don’t care who she is”, responds Jisung honestly.

“Oh ho, someone turns into a bad boy”, nudges Felix with his elbow against his ribs.

Jisung shakes his head. “Nah, not really.”

“I saw how you pushed her away from you and went upstairs afterwards. Did she ruined it by saying something wrong or?”

“No, the air in there was just muggy as fuck, which gave me a fat headache”, lies Jisung. Well, it is kind of the truth but also a lie. It’s just… the kiss was good but it somehow felt as if he was kissing the back of his hand.

“You either have to get drunk the next time or you get used to it by coming with us more often to parties”, says Hyunjin, giving him the ‘i-hope-you-know-what-i-mean’ face.

“The first option: no. The second option: we’ll see.”

 

Jisung wonders how he could survive school today with all the information’s the teachers gave him that his brain has first to progress. He’s impatiently waiting for the bus, which brings him home. Outside are the temperatures surprisingly not all too cold. 

Jisung throws his head in his neck, seeing the grey clouds covering partially the azure blue sky.

Suddenly he hears from afar the chattering from the bus, which brings him to lower his head, following with his eyes how the bus gets slower and stopping in front of him. He enters the bus, greets the bus driver with a friendly smile and tries to weave his way through the people.

Currently, it’s the worst time to drive with the bus since not only students are here but also people like businessman or businesswomen, who are going home from work. They mostly are on their phone, talking to family members or listening to music, while reading a book. But some of them are just staring somewhere with a blank look. 

As Jisung finds a spot in the back with fewer people around him, he holds himself at the cold pole, leaning against it. He fishes his phone from his pocket, scrolling bored though his Instagram feed to kill time. 

“Hello”, greets him a familiar voice.

Jisung looks up and grins as soon as he sees his face. “Hey, Minho. Nice to see you again.”

“Nice to see you again too. On your way at home?”

“Uh yeah, how about you?”

“Same here.”

Between them rules an awkward silence, where Jisung stares at the ground while Minho looks a little bit around.

“How was school for you?”, breaks Minho the awkwardness, making Jisung to raise his head. 

“Tiring, I guess. Had trouble to focus on class. And for you?”

_Because of a certain person._

“Oh, that sucks. For me it was alright.”

“Good to hear”, nods Jisung his head. “Are you a new student? Because I’ve never seen you before on the hallway.”

“Yeah, I actually am.”

“Oh, cool. Hope you had a great start.”

“Yes, I had. Thankfully I knew someone in my class, since we are childhood friends. Does the name Bang Chan say something?”

“Ah, isn’t he the student that is good in everything? And the guy who you went to the party on Friday?”

“That’s right.” ¨

_Another awkward silence._

“Not to sound like a creep, but do you want to hang out with me sometime?”

“Hm, why should I? You could be a murder and I’m your next victim”, says Jisung, while giving him a skeptical glare.

“Shit, how did you know? Was it that obvious?”

Jisung laughs about his responds and Minho joins him. “Okay, but for real, sure why not?”

“Cool. Are you free on Friday?”

“Yes.”

“Nice, how about chilling at my house?” requests Minho. 

“Sounds good.”

Suddenly, a digitally monotone voice annonunces the next stop.

“That’s my stop. So, then I see you tomorrow at school?”

“Yes. See you. Bye.”

“Bye, let’s see if you really are a murder” says Jisung, while turning around to walk towards the door, holding his hand up as a goodbye.

He hears Minho laughing about his comment, which brings him to smile. Waiting in front of the bus door, he slowly turns his head in Minho’s direction, staring (actually Jisung wouldn’t describe it as staring more like a being curious if he watched after him) at him. The light of Minho’s phone illuminates his face, which make his brown eyes and his flawless skin glow, and the boy has this typical grin on his pink lips.

Jisung quickly shakes his head to come back to his senses. He’ll not do it again because it’ll be very awkward if Minho catches him staring at him and he’ll think that Jisung is a creep. He rapidly turns his head to the door, facing the door, while seeing how everything passes by him. 

As the bus stops with a jerk, the engine lets out a deep sigh, that reminds Jisung of an old grandpa coughing. The bus driver opens the doors, so that the guest could either exit or enter the bus, which in Jisung’s case is the first one.  
As soon as he leaves the warm bus, he notices how in the meantime it got colder outside. The evening breeze blows around, brining the few leaves on the ground to dance in the wind. Jisung puts his hands in his pocket, roaming his way home.

 

“Who’s this boy, you’ll hang out on Saturday?” questions his mother, giving him a skeptical glare. 

“A new student from our school” responds Jisung quickly.

“How old is he? What’s his last name?”

Jisung groans in annoyance. “Mom, please. Don’t do this interview with me.”

“Jisungie sweetie, I know that it annoys you that I’m questioning about the new people you meet” says his mother with a calm tone in her voice. “But I’m just worried. You never know-“

“how people really are”, finishes Jisung her sentence. “I know, I know.”

She stands up from the couch, walking to Jisung, who is leaning with his back at the wall next to the staircase. She softly grabs his head, pulling him towards her to give him a gentle kiss on his hair, pushing him slowly away from herself to look him in his eyes.

“I hope you know, that I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After saying these words, he hugs her, feeling even more secure as she wraps her small arms around his body. 

 

“Why are you so … I don’t know… hyper?” questions Felix carefully.

“I’m just excited that today is Friday.”

Jisung’s friends are a little bit surprised about Jisung’s mood. Yes, it may be Friday, but he isn’t always that… happy on Friday. They give each other a quick glance but decide not to ask him further about it. Maybe he found something out or something happened that made him happy. Instead they ignore it and continue to reach the classroom.

Time flies by fast in Jisung’s eyes, then it is already his last lesson for today but it’s the horror. Somehow, the lesson of his chemistry teacher Mrs. Park goes so long. He wouldn’t care if it was history or mathematics. But chemistry by one of the worst teachers? A nightmare. 

Instead of paying attention, which is what Jisung should do since chemistry is one of the subjects, he is bad at, he scribbles some small and dumb things on back of his notebook. Now and then he looks up from his booklet and copies the notes. He turns his head to the clock, which hangs over the door. 

Thirty seconds and then weekend. And meeting up with Minho. But he’s more convinced that he’s excited that it’s weekend. At the exact moment the bell rings and the students rush out of the classroom.

The four friends say goodbye to each other at the bus stop, where they split up. Only Jisung is at the bus stop, under the warm sunlight, waiting for the bus, but also for Minho. He shortly looks behind his shoulders, coincidentally observing how Minho leaves the school building with Bang Chan and another guy.

Somehow, for Jisung this scenario happens in slow motion. Minho walks (probably unintentionally) like a model on a catwalk, while he is running with his fingers smoothly through his shiny brown hair. His lips curl into a bright smile, even starting to laugh. He turns his head in Jisung’s direction, giving him an admirable glance, which causes panic in Jisung’s body and makes him to turn quickly around.

“So, ready to go?” hears Jisung, looking at his left side, where Minho stands with his hands hidden in his pockets.

“Yes.”

 

After a ten-minute-long bus ride, they arrive at Minho’s place. Minho takes his keys out, putting it in the door lock, turning it around until it makes ‘click’. He removes the keys and opens the door, suddenly standing at the door, bowing down while showing with his arms that Jisung can enter first. Jisung chuckles a little bit about his extraness.

“Anyone at home?” yells Minho, while closing the door behind his back.

Silence.

“Perfect. We have this place for ourselves.”

Jisung nods his head slowly, watching how Minho slips out his shoes and Jisung copies him. Minho leads him out of the entrance, bringing him into his room. As they arrive in his room, they put their backpacks next to Minho’s white wooden working table.  
Jisung looks a little bit around.

His room isn’t the biggest, but there is still enough space to walk around. The walls are painted in a baby blue. He has a small bed with the bed sheets, that matches the painted wall. On the right side is a little white night table, with a lamp and an alarm clock on top. Next to the table is a big closet. Jisung’s eyes wander to Minho’s table again and he didn’t notice, that there is a shelve over the table with some books and pictures of Minho dancing. 

“Oh, you danced? Or still dance?”

“Yes, I dance.”

“That’s awesome.”

“Thanks. By the way, you just can sit on my bed if you want to” offers Minho, who’s busy with cleaning his table. He looks quickly over his shoulder, giving Jisung an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I was maybe lazy yesterday to clean my desk. Sorry for my rudeness.”

Jisung waves it off with his hand. “It isn’t that deep.”

After Minho is done, he turns around, leaning against the edge of the desk, while having his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

“Are you hungry? Because I’m starving!”

“Yeah same.”

Jisung puts his hands on his stomach, while looking down but later raises his head, seeing Minho laughing about his cute gesture, which Jisung joins.

“So”, starts Minho, “I can cook ramen or ramen.”

“Ramen sounds good” responds Jisung, going along with Minho’s joke.

“Good choice.”

 

Now they are sitting on Minho’s bed, with a bowl in one hand and the chopsticks in the other hand, eating happily their ramen. 

“So Jisung, tell me something about you.”

“I’m not that interesting” speaks Jisung,unclearly his mouth filled with noodles.

“First of all, it’s rude to talk with a full mouth and second, I’m sure you’re the interesting one of us.”

“Hm” sighs Jisung, thinking about what he can tell Minho. “I am 16 years old. I lived and studied for a few years in Malaysia. I have a little sister named Jihye and I fucking love cheesecake.”

“I’m not that interesting” quotes Minho with a jokingly mocking voice. “That’s bullshit. Like living and studying in Malaysia for a few years? Damn boy.”

Jisung has to laugh about his comment but calms himself quickly down. “Anyways, how about you?”

“I am 17 years old. I am an only child. I am ambidextrous, and I have the habit of cracking my fingers.”

“I’m sure you’re the interesting on of us” copies Jisung, which makes Minho laugh because his voice sounds so funny and Jisung joins him. 

After they calmed down, they continue to silently eat their ramen, while a comfortable atmosphere is in the air. Jisung didn’t notice, how Minho, who is already done with his ramen, watches how he finishes to eat his ramen. 

“Did someone ever told you that you look like a squirrel?”

Jisung puts the bowl down on the floor, exaggerating the inhaling very loudly. “Listen, I don’t need an extra person in my life to tell me that. And I don’t look like a squirrel.”

“Yes, you need an extra person to tell you that”, teases Minho him.

“You know, what? I’m done. I’m going home. Goodbye.”

“No, please stay.” As soon as Jisung wants to stand up, Minho grabs his wrist. The sudden touch gives Jisung goosebumps, making him stop to breathe for a second. He genuinely didn’t know, why his body reacting like that. It shouldn’t react like that.

At this moment, the door bell rings. Minho knits his eyebrows first, but suddenly his eyes are big, taking his hand away Jisung’s wrist, giving himself a face palm.

“Shit, I totally forgot it.”

He quickly leaves the bed and rushes to the door. Jisung slowly stands up, staying there like a rock. As he hears, that Minho opens the door, a female voice angelic laugh sounds through the apartment, asking him basic things if he’s fine or how his day went and him answering them in a short sentence. Suddenly the voices got louder, which means they are coming here.

Minho opens the door and next to him stands a petite girl with silky long black hair, dressed in light skinny jeans and a dark green blouse, wearing natural make up. She gives Jisung a lovely smile, which he returns,

“Haeun, this is my friend Jisung”, introduces Minho the girl to Jisung. “Jisung, this Haeun. My girlfriend.”

When Minho said these words, Jisung’s face was about to drop but he maintained to have his smile. But his heart. His heart clenched as if someone has it is in their hands and just squeeze it merciless. Minhon leans towards her lips and then they start to exchange a passionate kiss. And Jisung just stands there and watches the scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello uwu. first of all: thank you so much for the kuddos, i'm glad that are actually people who like this story :') i hope you enjoyed chapter two with the little twist. a n yways thank you again and see you in the next chapter <3


	3. chapter 3

02:09 a.m.

That’s what Jisung’s digital alarm clock on his night table shows. The mentioned boy lies on his bed, wearing his pajama, wrapped in his thick, soft blanket. His bedroom is surrounded by the darkness, the only thing that brings a little bit light in the room is the alarm clock.

With his hands on his stomach, Jisung stares bleakly at the ceiling, which he couldn’t even see it clearly since his eyes are already used to the darkness. The thing that keeps him awake are his thoughts. 

Why in earth did his heart hurt when Minho introduced his girlfriend to him? Why did his body have an extreme reaction when Minho grabbed his wrist softly? Is something wrong with him? His body never reacted like that ever before. Not even while he was in a relationship with his former girlfriend. 

And this because of … a boy. A stranger he knows barely a week.

“Why?”, whispers Jisung breathy, continuing to stare in the dark.

 

“Bro, you look like shit”, states Seungmin as soon as he sees Jisung, who’s roaming towards his friends, having his hood deep down his face, so that he could hide at least a little bit. He knows that he looks like shit. His skin is paler as usually, his eyebags are standing out more. 

Jisung sighs frustratedly. “I know, thank you for the reminder.”

“Did you actually have some sleep?” asks Felix, looking worryingly at his exhausted friend.

“Yeah, but it isn’t that deep. Will not happen again.”

His friends give each other a worried look. 

“Is everything okay?” asks Hyunjin the boy.

“Yeah, everything alright”, lies Jisung with a smile on his face, not wanting that his friends are more worried.

“And you’re sure?”, reassures Seungmin, smiling warmly at him. “You can tell us everything.”

“Yes, and I know, it’s nothing deep, guys. Let’s go to class before we’ll be late.”

 

It’s lunch time and the boys are gathered at their regular table, eating their meal while telling some new stories they heard about or experienced. Jisung sits silently on his place, listening his friends’ stories, even though most of them sound made up, but who is he to judge.

“And Jisung”, brings Hyunjin’s voice him out of his thoughts, “What did you do on Friday?”

“Nothing interesting”, responds Jisung, before he takes a spoon full of rice in his mouth. “The usual things: listening to music while reading a book.”

He isn’t ready to tell, well no he can’t tell, his friends about this thing with Minho. Why does he keep their “friendship” secret? There’s nothing to ashamed of since they’re only friends. But he doesn’t know.

“Y’all want to hang out at my place?”, asks Felix the boys. “My parents are gone this weekend. We could game and watch some Marvel movies or stuff like that.”

“Hell yeah!”, shouts Seungmin out of excitement, which is later followed by Hyunjin’s “I’m totally in.”

“Same goes for me”, says Jisung, while standing up. “And also, I have to go to the toilet.”

He swings his legs over the bench, pushing himself away from it, nearing the exit. Before he completely exits the cafeteria, he hears from Seungmin a ‘We’ll enjoy these few minutes without you’. Jisung turns around, walking slowly backwards, giving them his middle as a response. The boys start to laugh out loud.

Jisung rolls his eyes with a grin on his lips, turning around. Suddenly he bumps into someone, hearing things falling to the ground. 

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry”, apologizes quickly, both of them kneel to the ground, picking up the loose sheets and books. 

The unknown boy waves it off. “No big deal. I should’ve payed attention.”

“What? No, I was the one who should’ve payed attention.”

As they collected all the loose papers, Jisung hands the sheets back and raises his head, seeing a not all to unknown face. 

“Is something on my face or why are you staring?”, asks the black-haired boy, knitting his brows in confusion.

“Oh no, I didn’t realize that it was you, Changbin”, answers Jisung honestly.

Changbin rolls his eyes annoyed, grabbing the papers, standing slowly up. Jisung does the same thing.

“Didn’t know that I was so famous here in our school”, says Changbin. His voice is now raspy, fiercer than before. Yes, he is pissed.

“I mean… everyone knows that-“

“God, I am aware that every goddamn person in this ugly school knows that I’m gay”, interrupts Changbin him, snapping at Jisung with an even more annoyed voice than before. “Do you want to tell me more obvious things, Sherlock?”

“Geez, I’m sorry”, mumbles Jisung to himself, feeling the guilt spreading in his body.

Changbin sighs loud. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry. I should be sorry for snapping at you, even though you didn’t want to harm me. It’s just…”

He stays quiet for moment, searching for the right words.

“Fucking frustrating?”, suggests Jisung. 

Changbin giggles quietly. “This fits quiet well.”

Jisung gives him an encouraging smile. “Anyways I have to go to the bathroom.” 

Changbin grimaces his face in disgust. “Ew, I didn’t really need that information before eating lunch.”

“I’m sorry, I hope you still can enjoy your meal?”, says Jisung, but it sounded more like a question. 

“I don’t think so, but I try to enjoy it.”

 

Jisung is currently providing his stuff in his locker. Actually, he is sticking it in his locker. Finally, after locking his locker successfully, he leans his back against the locker while throwing his head in his neck. He closes his eyes and lets out an exhausting sigh.

He opens his eyes and pushes himself away from his locker. Suddenly, Minho stands in front of him, giving the boy a bright smile. 

“Hey, Minho. How… are… you?”, says Jisung, making small pauses in between of the sentences. Great, you can’t even speak like a normal human being.

“I’m good, how about you?”

“I’m fine, little bit tired.”

Minho frowns worried, titling his head. “Why this?”

“Uhmm, because of chemistry”, lies Jisung, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m very, very bad in it.”

Well, the only part Jisung lied to Minho is the reason of him being tired, but the part with being bad in chemistry is actually the truth.

“Really?”, says Minho with a surprising voice. “That’s like my favorite subject. I can tutor you if you want to.”

“For real?”, asks Jisung, cringing at how his voice sounded.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Oh, thanks? I really appreciate your offer.”

“We can exchange numbers so that we can contact each other when I should come at your place”, suggests Minho.

Jisung’s eyes wander to the right, seeing his friends coming out of the corner. His eyes are going back to Minho.

“Yes, nice idea. Wait, I just need to take my phone from my backpack.”

He was about to stripe his backpack of as suddenly he feels Minho grabbing his wrist, pulling his sleeves up. Minho takes out a black pen, positing it on Jisung’s underarm, starting to write his phone number down. Jisung stands stiff, watching hypnotized Minho writing the numbers down. 

After Minho is done, he pushes the sleeves back the down, putting his pen back in his jacket pocket. Jisung stands perplexed, observing every movement of Minho, who’s pushing the small strands of his brown hair back.

“Text me when you’re free”, winks Minho at him, before he leaves.

Jisung looks bewilderd back, seeing Minho walking towards his friends.

“Who was that?”, asks a voice curiously, bringing Jisung to turn his head in the direction from where the voice came from.

It was Hyunjin’s voice, who has Felix and Seungmin standing at his sides. 

“Uh, that was my tutor for chemistry.”

“What did he write on your arm?” asks Felix this time.

“His phone number.”

The boys give him a confused look.

“Uh, we met only today and yeah, he wanted to know when we can meet up”, stutters Jisung, while playing nervously with the seam of his shirt. 

“You don’t have to be ashamed”, says Seungmin, patting his friend’s shoulder encouraging. The sudden touch of Seungmin makes Jisung shudder. “Not everyone is an ace in every subject, except your name is Bang Chan.”

“I know”, whispers Jisung.

Guilt spreads in his body. A lump builds in his throat. He feels like that his stomach has turned upside down and he has the urge to empty the inside of his stomach. 

 

_It’s much more than that guys._

 

Jisung lies with his back on the soft mattress, having his phone next to him, staring at the ceiling for way too long. He has been thinking if he should text Minho. Wouldn’t it be creepy if he texts him? But it’s not like that Jisung has his phone number secretly, 

Minho gave it to him. So why the hell is making a huge deal out of it?

He grabs the pillow next to him, presses it on his face and screams frustratingly against the pillow. After a few seconds he removes the pillow from his face, putting it back to his old spot. Jisung inhales a few times before he grabs his phone, unlocks it and opens his messages.

 _ **jisung**_  
hey minho  
it’s me jisung

__

After he sent the messages, Jisung rapidly locks his phone and throws it at the end of his bed. Not even after a minute, his phone vibrates, bringing him to sit up straight. Nervously, he takes his phone and unlocks it.

 

 _ **minho**_  
hey jisung  
what’s up? 

_**jisung**_  
nothing special  
just wanted to say that I’m free on Friday.

 _ **minho**_  
cool  
i suggest having tutor lessons at your place

 _ **jisung**_  
yeah  
had the same idea

 _ **minho**_  
okay  
see you soon :)

 

As Jisung sees the smiley face, his heartbeat increases fast, feeling it fasten beat in his throat. He’s smiling so wide, that his muscles start to hurt. He pushes the button on his phone to lock his phone, pressing it after on his chest. 

 

Jisung is nervous. Yes, he meets Minho again alone, but he doesn’t get rid of the feeling that something’ll may happen. He tries to push the feeling away as good as he can, because he’s afraid that Minho will see his nervousness and tries to squeeze things out of him as much as possible.

But luckily, it seems like that Jisung is really good at pretending that everything is cool and chill, because Minho doesn’t suspect anything at all (at least this is what Jisung hopes.) The pretty boy stares outside of the bus window, watching how everything passes by them. 

The way how the sunrays shine on Minho’s face makes him look like an angel sent from heaven. His brown eyes gleam bright, his pink lips look much lighter. He just looks perfect. 

Jisung also looks out of the bus window, knowing at the back of his neck that nothing has changed except that the colorful flowers on the tree finally bloomed. Suddenly he feels how he gets tapped on his shoulder, knowing that it was Minho. 

“I think we need to get out soon.”

Jisung turns his head confusingly in the direction where the annunciator panel hangs. Minho was right, they have to disembark the bus in a few minutes. 

“Yeah, you’re right.”

The bus gets slower and stops, while the engine continues to rattle. The doors are getting open and the passengers, including Minho and Jisung, leave. 

 

As they arrive at the front door of Jisung’s home, grabs Jisung the keys from his pocket and unlocks the door. Jisung steps aside, so that Minho can enter first at which he thanks him. After Minho is inside, Jisung closes the door behind him and slips out of his shoes.

“Mom, I’m back from school”, shouts Jisung, while he slides out his jacket, hanging it on a clothes hanger. “I also brought a friend from school.”

Before Minho could say anything, Jisung takes his jacket and hangs it also on a clothes hanger. He gives him a thankful smile, which Jisung returns.

Both of them can hear, how someone comes down the stairs, which makes them to turn their heads to the stairs out of reflex. It is Jisung’s mom, who’s dressed up very plain and comfy. As she walks down the last step, she walks towards them, smiling warmly  
at Minho.

“So, mom, that’s Minho and Minho that’s my mom”, introduces Jisung each other.

Minho reaches his hand out, which she grabs and starts to shake it.

“Hello, nice to meet you Minho.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Han.”

She takes her hand back and waves off about what Minho said.

“You can call me Jiyeon.”

“Okay, mom I think that’s enough. We are going now to my room because I need him to understand chemistry.”

Jisung wraps his left arm around Minho’s shoulders and guides him to the staircase. Minho chuckles amusingly about Jisung’s behavior. 

 

As they arrive Jisung’s room, Jisung offers Minho to sit on his working chair while he brings another one for himself out of his sister’s room. Instead of sitting down, Minho walks around his room and looks at the pictures of Jisung’s friends and family which hang above his desk.

He removes himself from the desk and notices a shelf with many reading books but also school books. From afar he can hear Jisung coming back from his sister’s room and so Minho goes to the chair and sits down. Jisung places the chair next to Minho and sits down. Jisung opens a drawer to take out his chemistry stuff, putting it on his working place. 

“So”, starts Minho, opening Jisung’s booklet and flipping through the pages. “Where do we begin?”

Jisung puffs his cheeks, letting the air out with a sigh. “From the beginning I guess?”

“So, you mean back to the basics?”

“If this is the beginning, then yes.”

“Okay, then let’s do this.”

Minho starts to explain everything calm, slowly but importantly as easy as possible. He shows with his fingers on some lines, telling the connections between certain subjects. And Jisung? He has his elbow on the desk, while having his chin resting on his palm. 

He listens carefully to Minho’s soothing voice, watching him explaining the most important things without missing a single detail.

“And that’s what the basics are”, finishes Minho his explanation, turning his head to Jisung.

“Okay.”

“Did you get it?”

“I’m not sure.”

“It’s okay”, comforts Minho him, giving him an encouraging smile. “I’ll ask you some questions and you just answer them.”

“Okay, let’s start.”

“Describe what a pure substance is.”

“So, it’s a substance, that you can’t fractionate anymore, to be more exact you can’t sperate it physically anymore.”

“Correct! And what’s analysis?”

“Hmm, it’s the forming or building of a more complex substance or compound from elements or simpler compounds.”

“Hey, not bad”, praises Minho Jisung, who smiles brightly. “You paid attention to what I said.”

“What the hell? Did you just indirectly said I don’t pay attention during class?”, asks Jisung him, pretending as if he feels offended. 

Minho shrugs as answer, smirking at him playfully.

“Stop it right there, Mr. Lee. I’m not fault that I can’t understand shit.”

“Mr. Han, I never said that you don’t pay attention during class.”

“Uh, but you were thinking that.”

“You don’t have any evidence.”

“God, I fucking hate you.”

Minho laughs. “No, you don’t and we both know it.”

Jisung rolls his eyes in annoyance, trying to show Minho how pissed he is, but failed miserably because Minho, who tried to not laugh at Jisung’s facial expression and Jisung cracks a smile. As their brown eyes meet, both of them stare at each other, giving the other a lovely smile while neither of them says a single word, but there is nothing to say.

Jisung and Minho know that right now, in this explicit moment, that only the two of them exists. Suddenly Minho leans in, closing slowly the big gap between them. Jisung’s brain doesn’t know how to react, so that this one indescribable feeling leads his body. It tells him to lean in, which he also did. Their faces are so close, that they could feel the other’s breath tickling against.

Suddenly someone crashes into Jisung’s room, so that they pull their heads back and turn it over their shoulders. The person who was bursting into Jisung’s room is his little sister.

“Jesus fucking Christ, can’t you not knock on the goddamn door?” glares Jisung at his sister with a venomous look. 

“Sorry my chair wasn’t in my room anymore”, hisses his sister in response. “Good to know that it’s in your room.”

“I’ll bring it back and now, get out of my room.”

She rolls annoyingly her eyes, turns around on her heel and shuts the door with a loud bang. 

“I’m sorry about my sister interrupting out tutor, but let’s continue.”  
hello  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo !! first of all thank you so so so much for giving the story so much love through commenting, giving kudos, bookmarking it and subscribing to it. aaah i can't express how thankful i am!! soo this was the third chapter and i hope you guys and enjoyed it as much i enjoyed to write this chapter especially two scenes (you can guess which i loved to write). if you want to you can follow me on twitter @/lovzjisung, where you can ask me questions or talk to me in general and maybe i'll post some spoilers for the next chapter... again, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed the chapter. see you soon!
> 
> p.s im sorry that the chapter is a little bit short :((


	4. chapter 4

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god._

That’s what Jisung has on his mind after Minho left. He walks the same distance in his room back and forth, while running with his shaky hand through his brown hair over and over again. His knees start to tremble and Jisung decides to sit down on the edge of his bed. Jisung’s heart is beating so fast that his chest starts to hurt. He can even feel it in his throat, which causes that he breathes heavily and unregulated.

They almost kissed. He almost kissed a boy. Not a girl. _A boy._

But he is straight. He has had a girlfriend and made out with a girl recently. So why the fuck does he react this way? Okay yeah, he kind of admits that the kiss with the girl from the party didn’t felt right at all. And how was kissing his ex-girlfriend? Hell, he can’t even remember that, it’s been six months since they broke up.

Shit, so many questions pop up in his head, making him even more nervous and dizzy. Questions, he can’t even answer anymore. Some of them he doesn’t want even to answer. Why doesn’t he want them to answer? Because he’s afraid. Afraid of the consequences.

Jisung takes a deep breath and exhales. He nervously rubs his sweaty hands on his jeans, gripping it tightly afterwards. He inhales and exhales slowly, which he repeats a few times until he feels his heartbeat calming down. He slowly lays back until he can feel the soft mattress on his back and stares the plain white ceiling.

He is so confused.

What the fuck is going on with him?

 

Not only Jisung asks himself that, his friends also have this question in their minds. They are truly worried about their friend. He’s been acting so different lately. He is much quieter and more reserved than he normally is. As if he is hiding something from his friends.

They admit, it is frustrating that they don’t know what happened that he is behaving like this, but they don’t want to force him to talk about it. Jisung should approach to his friends if he is ready to talk openly about it.

And that’s what Jisung appreciates so much about them. They never force someone to do anything. This makes him realize, that he truly doesn’t deserve them.

His thoughts are getting interrupted as someone holds a bag with a bagel in it in front of his face, which brings him to flinch for a second.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you”, apologizes Felix, trying to hold back a chuckle. “And also, I actually wanted to buy your favorite cheesecake, but I didn’t have enough money.”

Jisung gives him a thankful look. “You shouldn’t have done this.”

Felix lifts his pointer finger in the air as if he is ready to scold Jisung like a small child. “Listen, you are my best friend and I hate seeing you sad. And also, you would have done the same thing for me, right?”

Jisung nods his head. “Thank you so much.”

Felix sits next him, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s shoulders and pulls Jisung closer to himself.

“We see that you don’t feel very well. We just want you to let know that you can talk to us if something is wrong.”

“I know.”

The doorbell rings and that could only be Hyunjin and Seungmin. Felix stands up, leaves the dining room to open the front door. As soon as he opens the door, it starts to get loud which always happens when they arrive at Felix’s place. Jisung grins like an idiot, because of the behavior of his friend.

Suddenly it gets much louder. It wakes the inner curiosity in Jisung, so that’s why stands up from te chair and scuffs to the entrance, where he sees laughing Hyunjin and Felix and a pissed Seungmin.

“What the hell are y’all laughing about?” enters Jisung the room, asking them confused but also amusingly.

“Seungmin tripped over his own feet and the way he saved himself was way too funny”, wheezes Hyunjin, while having a hand on his stomach.

“Shut up Hyunjin, you bitch ass liar.”

Hyunjin imitates Seungmin’s action and Jisung starts to laugh loud, everyone else joins him except Seungmin, who says offended: “That’s mobbing.” But Hyunjin ruffles playfully his hair, which is the dumbest thing he could’ve done. Not even a second later, Seungmin hits strongly his arm with his fist, in which Hyunjin replies with a loud whimper, rubbing the painful spot on his upper arm.

“You hit my nerve, asshole.”

“Suits you right.”

It may seem like that they dislike each other very much, but it’s actually the complete opposite. Yeah, they might show it in a weird way, but that’s what makes it special. Even though it’s unintentionally, this enlightens Jisung’s mood.

“Okay, I suggest that we go to the living room.”

“And then?”

“We’ll see.”

As they arrive the living room, everyone throws themselves on the couch. Jisung has to admit that Felix’s couches are so fluffy and comfortable, he could easily sleep on them (actually, he did it on time and it was one of the best sleeps Jisung ever had).

“Guys, do you know who’ll move here?”, asks Seungmin. “My cousin Jeongin.”

Hyunjin and Felix faces light up in excitement as Seungmin revealed the answer.

“No way”, gasps Felix. “Will he go to our school?”

“Probably.”

“He’ll join in our squad!”  
Seungmin glares at Hyunjin. “Hell no! He is one year younger than us and I’ll not let it happen. You can forget it.”

“Are you scared that you get replaced?”, teases Jisung him, while playing with pillow next to him.

“No, I’m irreplaceable.”

“If you think so”, mumbles Felix, scratching the spot behind his ear.

“I hate every single one of you.”

“Do you all hear something?”, asks Hyunjin confused.

“No, maybe you imagined something”, replies Felix, shrugging his shoulders. “How about you, Jisung?”

“I thought that was the wind outside.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes in annoyance, crossing his arms in front of his chest, while the other boys laugh, and he joins them some seconds later.

 

Jisung feels his phone vibrating in his jeans pocket. He takes it out and reads the message.

_**minho** _

wanna hang out at my place?

**_jisung_ **

im at my friends’ house

**_minho_ **

oh

but can you still come?

**_jisung_ **

why are you asking?

**_minho_ **

im bored and you’re fun to hang out with

 **_jisu_** **_ng_ **

uhm sure?

is 6 p.m. okay?

**_minho_ **

perfect

see you then ;)

 

Jisung is surprised about the wink smiley, but he decides to ignore it and puts his phone back in his jeans pocket.

“What’s wrong?”, asks Seungmin him.

“Nothing. My tutor just wanted to remind me that I have a tutor lesson at his place today.”

“How is it going by the way?”

“Good, good. He can definitely explain things better than Mrs. Park”

Yeah totally good. They almost kissed during their tutoring lesson, even though Jisung literally could have pushed him away but instead he did the complete opposite. After Jisung realized what happened, he started to panic because his straight ass almost kissed a boy.

“How did you come in contact?”, muffles Hyunjin due to having his cheek on his palm.

Jisung suddenly stiffens by his question. Well, shit. What should he say? He has to come with something right now.

“Uhm, I once asked Chan if he can help me something with chemistry, but he didn’t have time, so he recommended me his friend, who’s apparently very good in it.” Jisung hates himself so much for lying about this. But why is he lying about this? He doesn’t know it either.

“Wow, as if your shy ass had the courage to talk to someone else.”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders. “I imagined that it would be worse, but it went pretty smooth actually.”

“We are proud of you Jisung.”

Jisung puts a fake smile on his lips.

 _You shouldn’t be_ , thinks Jisung sadly.

 

Jisung sits in the back of the bus, being on his way to Minho’s apartment. The bus is surprisingly quite empty for a Saturday evening. Normally, there are many cliques of teenagers who are going to the city to eat in some Fast Food restaurant. Mostly they are obnoxiously loud by laughing loudly and disturbing the passengers with their music, which Jisung (not only him but also the passengers) annoys.

Jisung is honestly glad, that during the bus ride rules a silent atmosphere, which sometimes gets interrupted by the engine, but it doesn’t bother Jisung very much. He grabs from his pocket the bagel which Felix gave him this afternoon, opens it and eats it happily.

After a few minutes, the digital voice announces the next bus stop, where he has to disembark the bus. The bus slows down and stops with a jerk in front of the bus stop, while the engine lets out a weird noise. The door opens and Jisung steps out.

Outside, it is much warmer than last week. Jisung throws his head in the neck, gazing at the sky. The sun sets and turns the colors in the sky in many soft pinks, blues and oranges, while the small, grey billowing clouds decorate the sky. Even though the sun set happens on a daily basis (except in the North and South pole), Jisung is still amazed by it how different it is.

Jisung lowers his head and goes on his way to Minho’s place. He saunters around this one corner, which leads to the city park. While walking through the park, he sees not many people. On the bench, right under the big tree, sits an elderly couple, while laughing together and holding softly their hands.

On the small grassland sits a happy parent with their small baby on a picknick blanket. The father picks the girl up in the air and she giggles happily, shaking her arms and legs wildly, while the mother tickles her stomach.

Jisung smiles lightly. Somehow seeing such things just bring him to smile. Or how Felix would describe it: ‘He loves feeling the positive vibes.’ He reaches the end of the park, which means that he’s only a few minutes away from Minho’s apartment.

While Jisung walks the way to Minho’s apartment, he never realized how big the plain apartment blocks were in Minho’s neighborhood, which make him feel small like an ant. To Jisung it seems like as if this area isn’t a crowded place at this time, since he only has come across to one person on the side walk.

From afar Jisung can recognize the building he visited exactly last week. The nearer Jisung reaches the block, the faster his heart beats. In comparison, the apartment block where Minho lives is much smaller, but instead it looks much friendlier and welcoming for everyone.

Most of the apartment blocks are painted in a dirty brown, orange or dark red, while this is painted in a peach color. Here are the gardens of the residents decorated with many colorful flowers in different shapes and sizes, while you can’t even see some of the other gardens in the neighborhood since there grow many green hedges, which cover the sight of the garden.

Jisung’s finger wanders through door bells of the residents, his eyes slowly follow his movement and presses the button as soon as he found it. He puts his hands in his jeans pocket, taps nervously with his right foot and waits that Minho opens the door.

As Jisung hears a buzzed noise, he pushes the heavy door open and enters the lobby. The sound of closing door echoes through the lobby, which startles Jisung for a moment. He walks the staircase up, every single footstep he does clang through against the walls.

Jisung climbs the last step, looks then up and sees Minho’s head peeking through the slit of the front door. Jisung’s harshly beating heart skips a beat, he holds his breath for a second and has no idea, how he should react. He roams awkwardly towards Minho, who opens the door widely and shows with a gesture that Jisung should step in, which he did.

He slips quickly out of his shoes and moves them with his foot towards the other shoes. Meanwhile Minho locks the door behind him, leans his back against the cold material and wait patiently for Jisung. Jisung turns around to Minho to be greeted with a bright smile, bringing his lips to curl into a timid smile.

“Do you want some water or eat anything?”

“No, thank you I already ate something”, declines Jisung politely his offer. “But thanks for asking.”

“Let’s go to my room then.”

 

And so they lie next to each other on Minho’s little bed, staring the ceiling and laughing about the things they are talking about.

“Did you know that I’m the best in a staring contest?”, asks Jisung Minho, turning his head to see his reaction.

“You and good in a staring contest?”, frowns Minho surprised but yet he laughs at his statement, but not to mock him but rather amusingly. “You get scared of everything that moves.”

“You should have seen me in primary school, I was crowned as the champion and everyone gathered at schoolyard to see the contest”, brags Jisung with an exaggerating voice and Minho laughs heartily over this.

“Okay, let’s see you win _champion_.”

“Get ready to lose.”

 

They sit with crossed legs across from each other, glaring each other as if they have been rivals for years.

“We have to lean more in”, says Minho comfortably.

This sentence brings Jisung’s heart to beat harshly against his ribcage. He gulps quietly and leans in; the gap between their faces are only a few centimeters. Jisung feels Minho’s warm breath tickling his face but he remains to have a poker face.

“I count to three and then no one is allowed to blink”, announces Minho. “Ready?”

Jisung nods his head in response.

“Okay. One. Two. Three.”

So starts the staring contest between them. No one says a single word. In the background the clock is ticking loud, the birds outside sing a happy evening song. As soon as they locked their eyes, Minho got him under his spell. Jisung is so fascinated about his big brown eyes, even though over 50 percent of the world population have the same eye color as him.

Suddenly Minho leans in, closes the small gap between them and pecks Jisung’s lips for a millisecond. Jisung blinks a few times in confusion about Minho’s sudden action. This little, short touch of their lips. His heart races like a machine, the blush creeps in the tips of his ears and feels the little butterflies flying in his stomach.

“I beat the champion”, shouts Minho excitedly and throws his fist victoriously in the air.

“What?”, asks Jisung him, not believing that he hears this with his own ears. “You are a fucking cheater, Lee Minho.”

“Where there any rules?”, laughs Minho.

“Yeah of course there are rules, you dumbass. I want a rematch”, replies Jisung, smiling brightly.

“Okay.”

They both go back to the starting position.

“We are not allowed to distract each other”, reminds him Jisung, blinking a few times.

Minho nods his head. “Okay, on three. One. Two. Three.”

As soon as they stare at each other again, Jisung feels how he drowns in Minho’s eyes again. Damn, Jisung is really under his spell. The idea that popped up in his head, brings his heart to beat even faster. He grips the bed sheets even tighter.

He inhales and exhales quietly to steady his heartbeat. Minho knits his brown in confusion. Jisung leans more in, only a few millimeters separating their faces until their noses touch. And then. Jisung softly presses his lips on Minhos.

His heart jumps in excitement, the butterflies hit every corner in his stomach. He feels Minho’s hand creeping on his neck to pull him even closer, kissing him back and soon their lips start to move in sync. Jisung feels like a flower that finally blooms after a long wintery season and Minho is the long-awaited sun, that helped the flower to bloom through his warm and golden sunshine’s.

This whole thing should feel wrong in many ways, but to Jisung it was the complete opposite; this whole thing between them feels so right to him, because he never has felt anything like this ever before.

_And he doesn’t want it to end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo chapter 4 is done and omg im so sorry that it turned out so shitty really. anyways, thank you so so much for giving the story kudos and bookmarking the story, i appreciate it so much >< thank you for reading and see you soon! ^^


	5. chapter 5

Jisung wakes up from his peaceful sleep and carefully opens his eyes, which he regretted since the soft sun rays shine through the sheer white curtains, bringing him to squint his eyes. After blinking a few times, his sight gets clearer and he realizes, that he isn’t in his own bed room. He carefully rolls to the side and is surprised, that in front of him lies a sleeping Minho. Suddenly, the memory comes up of yesterday’s kiss, which makes him blush.

The boy dozes quietly with a few brown hair strands covering his front. Jisung couldn’t stop himself from staring at Minho since the boy even looks ethereal while he sleeps, his features looking softer while he’s asleep. Minho lies as still as a brick. The only movement is the slight rise and fall of his chest.

A small smile forms on Jisung’s lips at this sight. Without even thinking for a second, he lifts his hand and carefully brushes with his fingertips the small strands behind his ear. Jisung notices how Minho tries to hide his smile but fails miserably.

“How long are you pretending to be asleep?”, asks Jisung him with a hoarse voice, pulling his hand away from his ear.

“Not long.”

After Miho answers, he opens his eyes and they look at each other silently. Minho puts his warm, soft hand on Jisung’s cheek and brushes with his thumb the same spot on his cheek over and over again.

“Did you sleep well?”, smiles Minho gently at Jisung.

“Yes, how about you?”

“Same.”

Jisung snuggles himself closer to Minho and buries his face in the crook of his face, smelling the flowery scent. Minho loops his arm around Jisung’s shoulder, pushing him softly closer to his body, while Jisung wraps his arm lazily around his waist. He closes his eyes, relaxing when Minho started to run with his fingers through his hair back and forth, while massaging the back of his head.

The tiny ember in his heart ignites and the warmth spreads through his whole body. Jisung feels so secure, calm and comfortable in his embrace, as if being in his arms protects him from every bad thing in the world. He pulls his head away to face Minho, leaving a small gap between the two of them.

Minho closes his eyes, nudging smoothly and playfully his nose against Jisung’s. Jisung smiles at his action, nudges him back with his nose and they share a laugh together. Before Jisung could say anything, Minho presses his soft lips against Jisung’s chapped ones. Suddenly, everything goes blank and the only thing that circles in Jisung’s mind is _Minho, Minho, Minho._

He kisses him back and wraps his arm tighter around Minho’s waist, holding him as if it depends about life and death. It was a slow and soft kiss, comforting in ways that words could never be. His heart beats against his ribcage but not as bad like yesterday. They are drowning in their own world, seeming that this kiss would last forevermore.

As they pull back, Jisung looks him into his eyes, Minho’s expression is soft and warm. Jisung gives him a quick peck before he buries his face in his chest, hearing Minho’s pounding heart.

“Does your mom know that you slept here?”

Jisung shakes his head. “I said that I’ll sleep at my best friend’s place.”

“And she believed it?”

“I think so.”

A natural and comfortable silence spreads through the whole room, which gets only interrupted by the birds singing happily their morning song outside and the rhythmically ticking of the clock on Minho’s night table.

“Minho?”, breaks Jisung the silence.

“Yes?”

“Did you ever hear something about the Red Thread of Fate?”

Minho rolls his eyes, but still has a small smile on his lips. “Yeah, I heard only briefly about it. I don’t really know the origin of it.”

“Can I tell you about it?”, lifts Jisung his head up from his chest, looking curiously into his eyes.

“Tell me.”

Jisung jiggles upwards until he faces Minho again, while looking deeply into his eyes.

“Okay, let me educate you. It’s an East Asia belief originating from Chinese legend. According to this myth, the gods tie an invisible red cord around the ankles of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain way. Often, in Japanese and Korean culture, it’s thought to be tied around the pinky finger.”

“Nice that you learned the Wikipedia page by heart.”

“Shh!”, shushes Jisung him, rolling his eyes annoyed “don’t ruin the fucking mood.”

A small chuckle leaves Minho’s mouth.

Jisung continues. “The red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.”

Jisung gulps silently, his hand reaches out for Minho’s, grabs it carefully and they intertwine their fingers tightly.

“Do you think we are destined to meet each other?”

“Yeah, I think so. And you?”

“I think so too.”

Minho brings Jisung’s hand up, pressing a feather-light kiss on his back of hand and brushes afterwards with his thumb over the spot he just kissed. Jisung leans forwards until their foreheads meet and closes his eyes, hearing Minho’s calming breathing. Fuck, he enjoys the moment so much. He doesn’t want it to end.

 

 

 

Sadly, it’s an utterly boring Monday and the students in the hallway are spreading their annoyed mood through the air. Yes, even Jisung is annoyed but also confused, sad and angry. After he put his school books from his locker into his backpack, he slams the door and locks it.

Thankfully it was lunch time, which means that his friends could cheer him a little bit up and make him forget, why he’s mad. He throws his backpack over his shoulders and roams calmly his way to the cafeteria.

Suddenly, someone grabs him at his upper arm and pulls him harshly in to the classroom and closes rapidly the door. Before Jisung started to scream, he could face the person who dragged him in to the empty classroom.

“You didn’t have to grab my upper arm so tight, geez.”

“I’m sorry”, says Minho, after he gives him an apologetic smile, leaning

Jisung sighs. “It’s okay, what’s up?”

“You look so confused today”, says Minho worried, ignoring his question.

“Hmmm… I don’t know maybe, only maybe, it’s because a certain person avoided me the whole weekend”, says Jisung with a hint of irony in his voice, not even trying to hide his feelings.

“I didn’t avoid you, Jisung.”

“You didn’t reply to my messages when I arrived home”, furrows Jisung his eyebrow. Minho could see in his eyes how hurt the boy was about his action, he feels his heart clenching at the hurt look on Jisung’s face.

“I told Haeun about you.”

“Okay. And?”

Jisung may looks relaxed outside but inside of him is a storm of anxiety, his heart beats faster and he has troubles with breathing controllable.

“We decided to take a break.”

“Oh, cool”, says Jisung, but as soon as he realized what he said, his eyes are growing big and he shakes his head to clear his mind. “No, I didn’t mean it like this, I’m sorry if this break makes you kind of sad.”

Minho gives him a confused look and laughs seconds later about what Jisung just said. “What? I am not sad.”

“Really?”, asks Jisung him timidly, looking at Minho with a confusingly smile on his lips, being overwhelmed about the current situation.

“Really.”

Minho could see Jisung’s anxiety and worry in his eyes. He gently cups Jisung’s cheeks and sends him a lovely smile, before he connects their lips. And suddenly, Jisung feels during the kisshow his anxiety disappears like the water flowing down the drain after a pouring rain and instead a warm, fuzzy feeling spreads in his body, Jisung’s arms wander to Minho’s hips and wraps them loosely around it.

Before they could lose themselves into the kiss, Minho disconnects their warm lips and stares Jisung deeply in his eyes, noticing how his anxiety faded away. He brushes with his thumbs over Jisung’s warm, cute cheeks to comfort him.

“Can I ask you something, Jisung?”, whispers Minho, even though they are alone in the classroom.

“Go ahead”, replies Jisung also in a whisper, never taking his eyes off Minho.

“What would your parents think about this? About us?”

Jisung’s eyes wander to the wall next to him, scrunching his nose while thinking about it. He has never thought about it before.

“I don’t know”, speaks Jisung his thoughts out loud, locking eyes with Minho’s, who furrows confusingly his brows. “I can only speculate, but I think my mom would accept it.”

“And what about your dad?”

“I’m not so sure about him. He really sticks to the old tradition and stuff like that and that drives me crazy”, mumbles Jisung, being surprised over how sad his voice sounds. “And your parents? What would they think about… us?”

Minho is silent for a few seconds. “They would love you.”

Jisung tilts his head to the side, leans slowly in and brushes his warm lips against Minho’s, the butterflies in his stomach are flying wildly around, making him feel all giddy. After the short kiss, they press their foreheads together, a smile creeps on both of their lips and Jisung feels the warmth in his body which is coming from Minho.

Even though Jisung knows that this is impossible, but deep down in his heart he hopes that this could go on for an infinity.

 

 

Jisung sits on the bench outside at the bus stop, near the grocery store and fiddles boringly with his phone in his hand, while waiting for the bus to arrive, so that he can go home as soon as possible.

“Wow, never thought that I’ll see you outside from school”, appears a voice behind him, which startled Jisung for a second.

He turns his head to the left side, being surprised about the person, who stands next to him.

“Hey Changbin.” Jisung gives him a surprising look. “I’m also surprised to see you here. Didn’t expect it.”

Changbin nods his head understanding and slips his hands casually in the pockets of his jacket, leaning his back against the ice-cold pole of the bus stop.

Jisung first decides not to ask him, but as soon as he feels the curiosity controls over his mind, he couldn’t stop himself to ask Changbin the question. “Why are you here?”

The black-haired boy arches a brow. “Met up with a friend.”

Jisung nods his head in response, turning his head away from Changbin to look in the distance.

“Who was the boy who dragged you in the empty classroom?”

The sudden question of Changbin brings Jisung to sweat, feeling his heart skipping a beat for a second.

“No one.”

Jisung raises his head up until his and Changbin’s eyes are meeting, who arched an eyebrow in disbelief, while crossing his muscular arms in front of his chest.

“Oh, just a no one who made you from one to the other moment happy as fuck. Who do you think you are lying to, Jisung?”

“Hold on, did you just stalk me?”

“No, I was just coincidentally in the hallway to put some stuff in my locker”, shrugs Changbin, answering Jisung’s question in all honesty.  
Should he really tell Changbin about his ‘thing’ with Minho? He didn’t even tell this his closest friends, so why should he tell it someone he talked to once? Is it that he is the only person Jisung knows that could relate and maybe understand him? He doesn’t know why, but his heart says that he can trust him and so he opens his mouth the words flow out of his mouth.

“There is this boy I’m seeing, the one you saw me dragging in to the empty classroom.”

Changbin raises his eyebrows in surprise, sending Jisung a smirk. He expected everything else but that.

“Wow, that’s cool, I guess. Do you like him?”

Jisung smiles to himself at the memorys, that appeared in his head of them cuddling in the bed in the early morning and talking about dumb stuff, which he already forgot. “Yeah, I do.”

“But what’s the problem?”

Jisung is a little bit shocked of how quick Changbin could analyze that there is one problem that bothers him.

“It’s just… the whole thing makes me look like if I was gay but I’m not gay.”

Changbin furrows his eyebrow in confusion as he heard Jisung’s statement. “But… you both are technically dating.”

“I know”, sighs Jisung, playing with the hem of his T-shirt. “It’s just… Let me explain it. It’s just I’m not like the other gays?”

 “What do you mean with  _other gays_?”, Changbin interrupts him here while emphasizing ‘other gays’, sending him a stern look.

Jisung shrugs. “You know… those people who paint their nails in wild, vividly colors, talk about the dick size of the men who are entering in the gay bar and attend at gay pride. I respect people like this honestly, but I, personally, can’t identify myself with them.”

Changbin pushes himself from the pole and sits down next to Jisung, who looks confused. He lowers his head, takes a deep breath and lets the air out slowly. Before he raises his head to face Jisung, he inhales and exhales again, trying to control his anger. As soon as their eyes met, Jisung could see the sudden change in Changbin’s eyes, they are much colder and serious and the way they pierce through him, makes him shiver.

“Okay, Jisung. Not every gay man or women behaves like this. I mean, look at me. No one knew that I was gay, and no one despised me then, but now, since I got outed as gay, everyone turned their back at me. You talk about it as if it was a choice. These people, who paint their nails in crazy colors or go to gay bars, talking about the dick size of men or attend to gay pride, are afraid that if it comes out that they are gay, that they’ll get beat up for no fucking reason by fascists in public. They live in fear, that something could happen to them as soon as they exit their house, but still these people would rather die than pretend someone they aren’t. And I’m one of them. Do you know how much courage and time it takes to accept that you are “different” than everyone else in your environment? Are you that brave? I don’t think you are yet.”

Jisung’s stomach makes a flip and the guilt inside of him eats him up. Out of embarrassment, he breaks the eye contact with Changbin and stares silently at the ground in front of him. Changbin stands up, without looking at Jisung once and turns on his heel, so that he shows his back.

“Oh and also”, brings Jisung to raise his head up to look up at Changbin, who didn’t bother to look at him, “you should be careful about the people you judge because of them attending at gay pride. They are the ones fighting for, not only my but also  _your_  rights, but you just don’t realize it yet.”

With that being said, Changbin walks away without saying goodbye or similar.

After a few seconds, he feels his phone vibrating in his jeans pocket, which he pulls out.

He reads the message on the display.

His heart shattered into million pieces. He felt like a flower after being tramped over endlessly.

 

 

 _ **minho**_ :

hey jisung to me the things are going to fast right now

i just need some time

sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello uwu 
> 
> first of all, i want to tell you that i do not support the things that jisung said at the end since im a lgbtq+ supporter. and this also means that this isn't the real opinion of the real han jisung. in this fanfiction jisung said these things because he's uneducated, confused and in denial about his sexuality. 
> 
> and also i want to apologize for updating chapter 5 so late? i was so busy last week and i didn't have time nor did i had the strength to write the chapter but here it is now:) thank you for those who patiently waited for chapter 5 >.< and also i saw that this fanfic has like 600 hits?? thank you so much for reading this story and liking it. i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i'll go bed since it's 2.00 am here. see ya in the next chapter :))


	6. chapter 6

Jisung enters through the front door, shuts the door with a loud snap and stomps his way to his bed room. His mother, who’s reading a magazine in the living room, twitches at the loud noise, turns her head over her shoulder and watches how her son angrily climbs the staircase up.

“Jisung sweetie, what’s wrong?”  
“Leave me alone!”, shouts Jisung, while slamming the door close.

Mrs. Han knits her brows, heaving herself slowly from the couch, going the staircase up to look after Jisung. As she stands in front of his door, she clenches her right hand into a fist and knocks softly with her knuckles two times against the door.

“Jisung?”, asks his mother carefully, trying not to anger him more.

“Didn’t you understand me? I want to be alone!”

  
Like every mother, she doesn’t listen to him and opens the door, peeking her head through the slit. Jisung lies with his stomach on his bed, pressing his head into the pillow.

“What’s wrong, Jisung? You can talk to me.”

He lifts himself from the bed, standing steady on his feet, while staring at his mother. The way his cold eyes meet hers breaks her heart into million pieces.

“Why don’t you fucking get it that I want to be alone?”, says Jisung, his voice getting louder at the end. “I would talk to you if I wanted to, but right now I want to be alone!”

  
Jisung hears several footsteps nearing his room, later his dad and his sister are standing at the door frame. Normally, Jisung would be probably shaking right now at his father’s terrifying gawp, but he doesn’t.

“How do you have the audacity to scream at your mother like that?”, lifts his father threatening his pointer finger. Jisung notices how his face slowly colors red and this only happens, when his father is really really mad.

“Why do you actually scream so loud? I have to study”, nags his little sister Jihye.

“You and studying? My ass”, ignores Jisung his father’s question, dedicating his attention to his little sister, “you’ve probably watched a YouTube video.”

“Jisung, don’t talk about your little sister like that”, warns his father him.

“It’s the fucking truth”, says Jisung with a loud voice, “I give my study time up to help you in the household since you both are busy with your dumb job but if she has to help, then she has to study all of sudden and it’s okay! She gets even more pocket money than me but I didn’t even complain once even though I help you more out. And now I want you all to leave me alone.”

Everyone has another expression on their face. He expected that Jihye starts to cry since her eyes are sparkling in the dim light, his mother gives him another lecture about same damn thing in every goddamn fight and his father screams at him, threating him with awful things.

Instead his father and his sister turn on their heel, going back to do their thing (whatever they were doing.) His mother still stands in his room, shaking her head disappointedly.

“You’re grounded for two weeks.” These are her last words before she exits his bedroom. ¨

He rushes to his bedroom door, closes and locks it, as soon as they left. He presses his forehead against the door, his eyes filling up with tears, running down his cheeks.

His phone in his jeans pocket vibrates non-stop. He fishes out his phone, seeing who terrorizes him with messages. And oh well, he isn’t surprised at all as he looks at the display.

**_the fantastic four_ ** **_™_ **

_felixix **:**_

greeting fuckers

let’s go to the funfair tomorrow

_hyunjinnie:_

nah bro

i have to study for history

_seungminnie:_

wow i never thought that i’ll witness the moment where hyunjin takes a book in his hands

_hyunjinnie:_

stfu

at least i have better marks than you

lol

_seungminnie:_

BITCHFSDHFJ

tell that my dog

_felixix:_

…but you don’t own a dog?

_seungminnie:_

that’s the point

anyways

i’d go

_felixix:_

c’mon hyunjin

this one time

_hyunjinnie:_

i wait for the reply of my best friend

_felixix:_

but seungmin already answered tho

???

_hyunjinnie:_

no i mean jisungie

_felixix:_

bitch

put your nasty fingers away from MY BEST FRIEND

_seungminnie:_

@felix bold of you to assume that i consider hyunjin as my best friend

**_Jisung:_ **

i’m in

_hyunjinnie:_

i’m also in then

_felixix:_

yeeesss

let’s go at 7pm

is that okay?

_seungminnie:_

yup

 

Jisung walks with Felix at his left side on the sidewalk, being on their way to the amusement park, where Seungmin and Hyunjin are already waiting for them. The sun is ready to set down; the sky already bathes in the warm pinkish tones and the fluffy, white clouds disappeared.

“I’m so excited to spend some time with you guys and just have fun”, says Felix cheerfully, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s shoulders and shaking him out of excitement. The boy forces himself a smile on his lips. He hopes that he could enjoy this evening with the boys, not having to remember about the horrible past events from the last two days. Nothing could go wrong.

Jisung nods his head in agreement. “I’m also excited. Just us four doing some dumb shit.”

They notice that they are already a few meters away from the entrance. The first thing that catches Jisung’s eye are the flickering vividly, bright colors coming from the machines. Many people from young to old are roaming happily through the amusement park, looking out for the things they can do.

Jisung gives Felix a weird look, who’s squinted his eyes, trying to recognize the standing silhouettes in front of the entrance. The nearer they got, the easier it got for Felix to identify that the silhouettes were their friends, chatting about something.

“Hello there!”, cups Felix his hands around his mouth, gaining the attention of his two friends.

They greet each other with quick hugs, as Felix and Jisung jogged lightly to them.

“Let’s not loose time and have some fucking fun”, beams Hyunjin, clapping his hands in excitement. 

 

And they indeed had lots of fun. First, they went to a roller coaster, which had many looping’s. This was the main reason, why Hyunjin and Felix argued with Jisung and Seungmin, but in the end Hyunjin and Felix surrended.

During the ride, Felix and Hyunjin closed their eyes tight and screamed out of fear, while Jisung and Seungmin put their hands in the air, laughing out of excitement, feeling the adrenaline rushing in their blood.

Felix and Hyunjin left the roller coaster with a shocked look on their face on the other hand Jisung and Seungmin tumble out of the roller coaster, holding each other at their shoulders and sharing a laugh together as if they were drunk. Seungmin and Jisung really wanted to see the pictures but they decided not to.

Later, after Hyunjjin and Felix calmed their pulse down, they’ve decided to do something that didn’t rush their adrenaline. Hyunjin recommended going to the shooting range, which all agreed on. Everyone lost except for Hyunjin; he gifted his winning price to Seungmin, who first wanted to reject it but he wasn’t in the mood to fight with Hyunjin, therefore he accepts it.

The next activity was the haunted house, which was Seungmin’s and Hyunjin’s idea. To summarize it quickly: during their walk through the house, Felix and Jisung cuddled together and mostly screamed over every small movement like girls from a bad horror movie. Hyunjin and Seungmin flinched at some parts, but most of the time they were making fun about Felix and Jisung.

They all decided to do something, where everyone can laugh. And what’s the most fun thing to do?

Exactly. Bumpers cars.

Seungmin and Hyunjin were in one car, while Felix and Jisung were in another one. They chased each other in full speed, bumping in between in other bumper cars but they completely ignored the other ones complaining about them. Shit, Jisung almost flew out because of Felix, who’s the driver, but he didn’t care: the most important thing was the fun factor.

After their little chase by the bumper cars, they rode another roller coaster, but this time it was less extreme for Hyunjin’s and Felix’s sake. They looked afterwards at the pictures and decided to buy them (actually it was Jisung who paid for the pictures.)

“Guys, I’m hungry. Let’s buy some food”, suggests Felix and his friends agreed.

They are looking out for food stands that actually offer delicious food. Not even after five minutes, they find a good one, who offers many things. Felix buys some churros, while Hyunjin and Jisung decided to share some waffles, which are decorated with lots of chocolate and whipping cream and Seungmin takes a burrito.

After they’ve paid for their food, they were walking and eating happily around the funfair. Hyunjin gains their attention through saying like a billion times ‘wow’.

“What’s wrong?”, stares Seungmin at him, his cheeks standing out through the burrito in his mouth.

“Look, there is a cute girl from our school”, nods Hyunjin in the direction, where the girl stands. His friends turn curiously their heads to the girl. He’s kinda right, she really looks cute but nothing more.

“Should I talk to her?”

“Of course”, answers Felix, before taking another bite from his churros.

Jisung nods slowly his head, looking bored around the funfair until something, no someone, catches his eyes. And in this moment, he regretted it so much.

From the distance, he could see Minho with his friends and his girlfriend, who he back hugged and peppered kisses from her hair to her mouth. Jisung’s smile faded instantly. His heart breaks in to many pieces as if he just threw a mirror to the ground.

“Sorry, but I have to go home”, mumbles Jisung slightly pissed, leaving his friends in the middle of the crowd.

“Wait, hold on Jisung”, screams Seungmin after him, running with Felix and Hyunjin at his side after Jisung. As they catch him up, Hyunjin grabs him at his upper arm, forcing him to turn around, which he does.

“What the fuck is going on? Why do you want suddenly leave?”, questions him Hyunjin, being upset over his action.

“Because my mom just texted me and is pissed at me.”

“You didn’t even touch your fucking phone, Jisung! If did it, you should ignore her and have some fun with us”, says Felix dryly.

Jisung’s bloods boils out of anger, he clenches his hands into fists until his knuckles are white and his nails bore into the flesh of his palms. Right now, nobody can hold him back.

“You can have fun without me as always! Go Hyunjin, make yourself a fool in front of this cute girl, thinking that she’ll about to fall into her knees and kiss you! Go ahead, have fun, enjoy your evening and ignore my fucking existence!”

“At least he’s trying it, but anyways we should let him leave. Probably he’s busy with other stuff”, glares Seungmin at Jisung.

And at this point, his mind gets bleak and he feels how he loses control over his own mind and body. He walks to Seungmin and pushes him so hard, that he falls to the ground. Without hesitating, Felix and Hyunjin kneel to the ground, looking after Seungmin.

After Jisung realizes, what he’s done, he could feel how he holds his breath and distances himself a few steps from his friends away. Before they could really say something to Jisung, he turns around and runs away; he gets in the meanwhile a few glares from the people, he accidentally bumped in.

Jisung runs his way home; everything gets suddenly blurry due to his eyes watering. The warm tears flow down to his cheeks, but he doesn’t bother to wipe them away with his sleeve. His lungs burn from all the running but it doesn’t stop him to continue.

Even though he sees everything fuzzy, he could recognize that he’s almost home. He knows that he’ll be in trouble for sneaking out of the house and right now he wants nothing else to except being in his bedroom, changed into his pajamas and wrapped in a warm blanket.

From afar, he discovers his house and sprints through the front door, not noticing how he rushes pass his mother, who jerks out of surprise from her son climbing the staircase in a hurry. At first, she wanted to scold him from leaving the house, but then she hears her son sniffle.

Without even thinking, she follows him to his bedroom. She slows down when she reaches his closed door. Her hand grabs after the door handle, pushes it down and opens carefully the door. She finds her son she finds her son lying on his bed, crying in to his pillow while his chest rises irregularly up and down. She enters his room, closes the door behind her and jogs to Jisung to sit down on the edge of his bed.

“Jisungie, what happened?”, asks his mother gently, while brushing with his long fingers through his hair.

He immediately straights himself up and hugs his mom, hiding his crying face on her shoulder. She shushes him to calm him down and continues to brush his hair.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“I think I just lost my closest friends”, says Jisung, his voice cracking in the middle of the sentence and  hiccupping every second.

His mom holds him at his shoulders and pushes him away, so that he could face her now. Her heart hurts at the view of her Jisungie; his eyes are already red and glazed from all the crying, the tear streaks are visible because of his red cheeks.

“Why do you think so?”, brushes his mother with her hands over his cheeks, wiping his tears away.

Jisung inhales deeply and hopes, that his breath could get steady. “We were at the funfair and then I saw someone I’m seeing with their significant other and I just got mad and snapped at them accidentally.”

“Sweetie, I think that they’ll not leave you. You have to explain them why you snapped at them and then I’m sure, they’ll understand you. You know what I always say-”

“Communication is the key”, completes Jisung her sentence, making her lips curl up into a tiny smile.

“Exactly.”

She wants to add something, but Jisung is faster. “Mom, I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

Mrs. Han sees how he swallows hardly and how his hands are shaking like a leaf. She removes her hands from his cheeks, takes his hands in hers and gives it a small pressure to comfort him. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.

Fuck, he’s so anxious and scared but in the end it’ll come to the daylight eventually. He feels his heartbeat racing harshly ‘til his throat, which makes it even harder to breathe. But then… the words flow out of his mouth.

“Mom, I think I’m gay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy im ready to get bombarded with comments that'll shred me in to many pieces and will be the death of me. and yeah i know the fucking angst is too much here but bare with me okay? only like one or two chapter until the drama stops for a moment and also thank you for 830 hits ??? i hope you kind of enjoyed the chapter (enjoyed is the wrong word hdsfjdskl)
> 
> if you want to drag me anonymously or want to be up to date, here's my twt [lovzjisung](https://mobile.twitter.com/lovzjisung)
> 
> i hope you'll have a nice morning/day/evening and see you soon.


	7. chapter 7

„ _Mom_ , _I_ _think_ _that_ _I’m_ _gay_. _”_

After these words leave his mouth, he feels how his heart drops in his guts. His racing heart beats like an aged machine that has never stopped working. The worst thing is he doesn’t know how his mother will react. Normally, he would know by now what she thinks through her facial expressions but her face remains straight, not a single face muscle moves.

“Are you sure or is that an assumption?”, questions his mother.

Jisung sighs. “I don’t know. I think I am.”

She nods her head in understanding. 

“Mom? Do you… now disown me or are disgusted of me? Or disappointed?”, lowers Jisung his head, being afraid of the reaction of his mother about his coming out.

  
Her hand grabs his chin gently and lifts it slowly up, forcing him to look her into her round, glassy eyes. The way she looks at him reminds him of how she comforted him during his childhood days when he had done a small, irrelevant mistake, thinking the world would fall apart but she always reassured him that everything was okay and that he shouldn’t worry about it.

  
“I would never ever think of you like that. You and your sister are one of – no the best things that ever happened in my life. I’ll always be proud of you and I don’t care if you love a girl or a boy or even both. You being happy makes me also happy. I love you just the way you are. I’ll always love you, Jisungie”

  
The first tears ran down to his chin, laving his inner pain and worries away which have been burdening him every day and every night. His mother pulls him into a tight hug and rubs small circles on his back, while he buries his crying face on her shoulder.

  
In his mother’s arms he could forget all these painful moments from the last few days even if it was for only a few seconds; the messages of Minho, Changbin’s anger on his dumb and uneducated ass, him fighting with his closest friends.

  
He slowly pulls himself away from the hug, observing his mother who’s sending him an encouraging smile.

  
“Mom, did you ever thought about me being gay?”

  
She nods her head. “I actually did. During your relationship with your ex-girlfriend, I actually noticed something. Your feelings towards her kind of felt forced but you didn’t notice it.”

  
“Okay”, whispers Jisung, more to himself than his mother.

  
“Also, who is the boy who is running through your mind?”

  
„Do you remember my tutor for chemistry?”

  
She knits her brows, trying to remember but suddenly her eyes grow big. “Ah, wasn‘t his name Minho? Is it him?”

  
“Yes, it‘s him.”

  
“Okay.”

  
Before a silence could appear, his mother sighs out loud. “I have to do some things for work. Is it okay if I leave you now alone?”

  
Jisung nods as a response. His mother heaves herself from his bed and gives him a gently kiss on the cheek before she leaves his bed room, closing the door carefully behind her. He lets himself fall back on his soft mattress; his eyes begin to drift closed, tired of crying hours with his mother today, close enough to doze off.

  
The sudden knock on his door echoing through his room brings him to snap his eyes open, sitting up quickly on his bed, way too quickly for his body since everything in front of his eyes starts to spin for a moment.

  
The unknown person pushes the door handle down, opening the door a little bit, revealing their identity by peeking their head through the slot; it is his little sister Jihye.

  
“Uh… Can I come in?” asks Jihye him, twisting her mouth in abashment.

  
“Sure”, Jisung says, patting with his hand at the empty spot next to him.

  
Jihye squeezes herself through the door gap and closes the door behind her as soon as she enters his room and plumps right next to him on his bed.

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
He turns his head in her direction, knitting his eyebrows in confusion.

  
“For what are you sorry?”

  
Even though she wanted to avoid eye contact with him, she looks at him, tears collecting in her eyes.

  
“For everything. I’m like the worst sister you could ever wish. You’re the best brother on this whole world but I’ve been treating you so bad even though you did so much for me. I don’t deserve you.”

  
“Jihye, what are you talking about? You’re the best little sister. Yes, we do fight a lot but that’s what siblings do. And yes, you annoy me often with your behaviour but this never makes me stop loving you.”

  
He loops his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer to him, so close that she lays her head on his shoulder, letting the tears flow down her cheeks. Jisung presses a soft kiss on her hair line, rubbing with his hand her upper arm up and down, hoping that this somehow comforts her.

  
“I love you, big brother.”

  
“Love you too, lil’ sis.”

  
“Will that be my stage name if I ever become a rapper?”, questions Jihye herself, trying to lift up not only her but also Jisung‘s mood.

  
A chuckle leaves Jisung’s mouth, being slightly amused over his sister’s question.

  
“I overheard your conversation with mom”, confesses Jihye, playing nervously around with her finger tips.

  
A silence occurs, both of them don’t know what to say, to be exact Jisung doesn’t know what he should say.

  
“Uhm… so you know…”

  
“Yup, I know that you‘re gay”, ends Jihye his sentence.

  
 _Well,_ _fuck_.

  
He isn’t quite sure how his sister thinks about it because he knows that the students in her class aren‘t really LGBTQ+ friendly since they live in a country where this is a huge controversy. Will she accept him? Will she tell it anyone?

  
“Honestly, if you outed yourself three years ago, I would have been probably disgusted.”

  
_Ouch._

  
“But you know that we have a biracial girl in our class from England. My friends and I are her only friends and through her, I got so much more tolerant since she educated us about many things like LQBTQ+. Love doesn’t always have to be something between a man or a woman. Love is…. Love. I accept you the way you are and if thinks about to hurt you because you’re gay, I’ll kick their ugly asses.”

  
Jisung frowns as he heard his sister’s last sentence, laughing heartly about it. “Jihye, you’re 14 years old.”

  
“I’m a badass 14 year old girl who’ll protect her brother at all cost.”

  
He looks at his sister, who’s lifts her head to send him a soft smile while wiping her tears away with her sleeves and pulls her into a tight hug. She lays her chin on his shoulder, wraps her arms around his body and snuggles closer to him.

  
“And I’ll also protect you at all cost”, mumbles Jisung, but loud enough that his sister can hear him.

  
“Jisung?”

  
He hums in response, patting with his palm the back of her head.

  
“Can you help me with my math homework?”, whines Jihye, “I don’t understand anything.”

  
Jisung laughs, shaking his head amusingly. “I should’ve known that you need my help, but of course.“

 

 

  
Honestly, Jisung doesn’t really want to go to school, but here he stands in front of the entrance door of his school. Technically, he could turn around, walk the stairs down and run back home, but he just couldn’t move his feet as if they are glued to the ground.

  
As soon as he pushes the door open with his hands, which are shaking like a leaf, he enters the hallway, his heart beats furiously against his chest, making breathing even harder.

  
Jisung places his hand on his chest, trying to steady his heartbeat. His eyes wander around the hallway until a familiar boy catches his eyes, who‘s ginning cheekily at his chatty friends.  
Suddenly the boy turns his head in Jisung’s direction, their brown eyes lock. This certainly doesn’t help to calm his heartbeat down, the effect is the complete opposite and it makes everything even worse.

  
But the worst thing about this whole thing is that Jisung can’t take his eyes of him. There’s this feeling spreading in his body, causing goosebumps on his skin. Single memories with Minho appear in front of his eyes, trying to get rid of them.

  
As soon he realizes, that Minho wants to walk towards him, he breaks the eye contact with him and walks pass him quickly, rushing in the classroom where his first lesson of the day starts.  
Before he enters the classroom, he roams to his locker, wanting to take his school books and booklets out of it. There he spots his best friend Felix (he isn’t really sure if Felix considers him as his best friend anymore), providing his things in his empty locker.

  
Jisung walks to his own locker, shyly peering to Felix, who doesn’t notice getting observed by Jisung.  
“Hi”, mumbles Jisung, not knowing if Felix could hear him. He grabs after his books and takes them out one by one, wrapping them around his arms, pressing them close this chest.

  
“Hello”, greets Felix him, frowning frustrated at his lock, which he tries to close, but after a few new attempts of trying to close it, he made it, having a satisfying smile. 

  
After Jisung closes his locker, he turns to the side, pressing his body loosely against the locker, watching how Felix throws his backpack over his shoulder.  
Jisung opens his mouth, not a word leaving his mouth and closes it rapidly. What should he say? Will Felix or his friends actually forgive him?

  
“Felix, I‘m so sorry for my behaviour yesterday“, starts Jisung, which brings Felix to lift his head. “I don’t know what came over me. I hope you guys will not be longer angry at me and will forgive me hopefully one day.”

  
Felix lays his hand on Jisung‘s shoulder, squeezing it softly. “We are not angry. We are confused because we don’t have a clue what is going on in your life and it’s frustrating for us since we can’t help you.”

  
Jisung sends him an apologetic look, but then an idea pops up in his head, giving Felix a bright grin. “My parents have to attend at the parent-teacher conference of my sister in the evening which means that I have the house for myself. How about us four eating some food and chill?”

  
“Sure, I’m in”, grins Felix at him.  
Both enter the classroom side to side and notice that Hyunjin and Seungmin are sitting on their seats at the corner of the classroom while talking about something.   
Hyunjin and Seungmin greet Felix with a hug, while Jisung stands awkwardly in front of them, playing with the string of his hoodie.

  
As soon as Felix pulls out of Hyunjin hug, he stands again next to Jisung and puts his hand on his back, pushing him to the front, trying to encourage him to speak with them.

  
Jisung clears his throat and starts to sweat as he notices that Hyunjin and Seungmin have an anticipating look on their faces. He inhales shortly and exhales.

  
“First of all, I want to apologize to both of you from the bottom of my heart.  
Hyunjin, I’m sorry for the hurting words I said yesterday. I know that I was mean to you and I hope that you’ll forgive me. I hope that you got her number.”

  
Hyunjin’s lips curl into a smile when Jisung said the last sentence.

  
“Seungmin, I’m sorry for pushing you to the ground. I shouldn’t have let my anger out to you. It was wrong of me. You have the permission to slap me randomly one time if that makes you happy.”

  
Hyunjin and Seungmin exchange looks, making him sweat even more while stomach flips around.

  
“We forgive you”, Seungmin speaks up and Hyunjin smiles heartily at Jisung.

  
Jisung exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he heard Seungmin‘s words.

  
“Really?”

  
“Yes, Jisung”, reassures Hyunjin, “really.”

  
“I don’t deserve you guys.”

  
“We know”, sasses Seungmin and leans comfortably back on his chair, making Jisung chuckle amusingly.

  
“I planned to invite you guys to my home and eat some food, don’t worry I‘ll pay, and I‘ll explain everything since I owe you an explanation about my current behaviour”, says Jisung, waiting nervously for their answers.

  
“Jisung paying the food? I‘m in!”

  
“Me too.”

  
Jisung gleams, turning his head over his shoulder, seeing Felix holding his thumbs up with a bright smile on his lips.

  
For now, everything is _alright._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm hello :‘)
> 
> im so so so so soo sorry for updating after alonst like... two weeks? i was busy with school and my mental wasn‘t also at his highest peak. but. i have holidays which means more time to write yaay.
> 
> i hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks to the people who waited patiently for chapter 7 :‘) 
> 
>  
> 
> ps; also i wanted to ask, are the length of the chapters okay? are they too short or too long? im a little bit inscure about it lol :‘)


	8. chapter 8

Jisung and his friends are gathered around the wooden table in Jisung’s living room, waiting for their food to be delivered and blasting some songs through a bluetooth box, which is connected to Hyunjin’s phone.

To kill the time, they decide to play a few rounds of UNO, knowing that some cuss words will be thrown around the room.

Currently, Seungmin won the most rounds, followed by Jisung, then Felix and lastly Hyunjin. The poor boy mutters some curse words under his breath with tight clamped jaw before drawing furiously the next card.

Suddenly, Hyunjin’s eyes are sparkling in the light, while a mischievous smirk is spreading across his pretty face.

He lays three normal cards on the small deck in front of him and after his move, he throws a reverse card, so that it wasn’t Felix’s turn but Seungmin’s, who’s holding one card in his hand.

Everyone at the table thought, that he’s done with his move but then he puts the wild draw 4 on top of the deck, screaming excitedly his head off as he holds only one card in his right hand.

“FINALLY! UNO BITCHES! OH MY GOD AFTER 84 YEARS!”

Jisung flinches at Hyunjin’s victory shout and lays his cards face down on the table, so that the logo of the game is to be seen and starts to massage his temples, holding back a groan.

“Why did I propose to play UNO with you guys even though I know that someone of you’ll be loud as fuck because of a fucking card game”, asks Jisung himself, but still loud enough that his friends could hear him.

“Because you love us”, responds Felix, who’s sitting cross-legged next to him, putting his arm around Jisung’s shoulders and Jisung automatically wraps his arm around Felix’s waist.

Before Jisung could reply, a shrill buzz echoes through the house, signalizing that the delivery person arrived at the front door after waiting for fifteen minutes. Jisung removes his arm from Felix’s waist, pushes himself up from the cold, hard parquet floor and jogs to the door.

“You guys better not watch which cards I have”, warns Jisung his friends, after he quickly turns around and glares deadly at his friends, while doing the ‘I-am-watching-you’ gesture. After his friends are out of his sight, he turns to the door and he opens it widely, shivering at the sudden cold gust hitting him in the face.

In front of him stands a middle aged man in a black bomber jacket, holding his order in his veiny hands, the shadow of his cap with the logo printed on it covering his face. Jisung hastily grabs his wallet out of his back pocket, handing the delivery person the money out, who gives him his orders after receiving the money.

Jisung smiles politely, thanking the delivery person quickly and saying goodbye to him and he mumbles something incomprehensible and rushes back to the car, leaving Jisung with a confused look behind.

He closes the door and walks to his friends, who’re waiting impatiently for the food to be served. Jisung sits down on the floor, placing the food next to the UNO deck. They take the food slowly out and open the lid to see, what food is inside each box. After everyone at the table has his food, they start to eat, chatting here and there a little bit.

“Hyunjin, do you have Sound Cloud on your phone”, asks Felix, after taking a bite from his fried chicken. The boy nods his head. “Can you type in SpearB? It’s spelled S-P-E-A-R-B and then click the first song that appears.”

Hyunjin grabs after his phone, unlocks it and types something on his phone, while knitting his eyebrows. Not even after a second, the tune of the song changes from happy to something gloomy and mysterious. After the bass appears, a raspy voice starts to rap the verse, spitting one line after another.

Jisung frowns, trying to identify the rappers voice. He’s hundred percent sure, that he’s heard his voice but he doesn’t know where, which makes him frustrated.

“Hey Felix, what’s the name of the artist again?”, glances Jisung at Felix, who’s currently busy with chewing his fried chicken.

“It’s SpearB.”

And suddenly, it clicks in his head, knowing exactly who the mysterious rapper. With a satisfied smile on his face he continues to eat his noodles, not noticing how Seungmin cocks his head to the side. “Jisung, why are you smiling like this? It’s kind of creepy.”

“Ah, it’s nothing special”, answers Jisung, “I just remembered about something small, not that relevant.”

“But y’all have to admit, that this song is fucking good.”

Hyunjin agrees with Felix, while bopping his head to the beat.

 

 

“This was so delicious”, speaks Hyunjin up after everyone has eaten up his meal, rubbing content with his palm over his stomach.

“Thank you for the food”, smiles Seungmin sincerely at his friend.

Jisung rubs shyly his nape. “No problem, it’s time that I also treat you some food after a long time.”

“But we all know, including you Jisung, that we’re here for a specific reason”, says Felix, his eyes wandering to Jisung, making eye contact with him for a few seconds. He notices how the boy uncomfortably shifts on his place forth and back, playing with the strings of his hoodie. 

Jisung exhales a long sigh. “Right. It’ll be a quite long story, so bear with me, yeah?”

Hyunjin places his elbow on the table, laying his chin on his palm, while his cheeks are getting gently squished. Seungmin leans back, using his arms as a support so that he doesn’t fall back. Felix pulls his legs close to his body, clasping his arms around his legs, while putting his chin on his knees.

“I have a thing with someone”, begins Jisung and his friends maffick as soon as they hear the news.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” asks Hyunjin, wiggling playfully his eyebrows to tease his friend.

Jisung swallows hardly at his question, lowering his head, afraid to see the reaction of his friends when the words are going to leave his mouth. He balls his shaky hands under the table, hoping that the tears in his eyes won’t fall down.

“That’s the thing”, he whispers, unsure if his friends can even hear him, “it’s a boy.”

Their friends exchange not only confused, but also surprised and shocked looks, as soon as he indirectly outed himself as gay. No one of the three knows what they should say, but Felix is the first one who could collect his thoughts.

“It’s okay, Jisung”, says Felix, freeing himself from his position to sit next to his best friend. He rubs with his palm on his lower back to comfort him a little bit.

“We are not disgusted of you Jisung if it’s that what you think”, says Seungmin, changing his position to the tailor seat, “we are proud of you, that you had enough courage to tell us that.”

Jisung lifts his head up, seeing how his friends smile warmly at him, not a sign of disgust or something similar on their faces. All the feelings he has been bottling up for a couple days, slowly fade away as if after a long rainy day the sun finally presents herself and shares her beautiful, golden shines after being hidden by the grey clouds.

“Thank you guys”, trembles Jisung, trying to prevent himself from crying, “I don’t know what to say except for thank you for accepting me for who I am.”

“We are your friends because of you”, says Felix, moving his palm to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly, “It doesn’t matter if you love a boy or a girl.”

“You guys are the best, I hope you know that.”

“We been knew”, responds Seungmin to lift up the mood and with success because everyone chuckles over his response including Seungmin himself, who’s praising himself inside. “But jokes aside now, you can continue your story.”

Jisung sniffs and clears his throat before he continues the story. “A while ago, I met this boy at Yerim’s party, who was also standing on the balcony like me for the same reason; to grab some fresh air.

A few days later I met him again in the bus. At first was the conversation we had pretty awkward but then we talked more until he asked me to hang out at his place.

Before someone of you interrupts me, I know that’s fucking naïve of me to agree with a stranger to hang out with him but at least I was socially active. Anyways back to the story.

And then we hung out at his place and ate some ramen, while lying on his bed and we told us some stuff to know each other better. Later a girl visits him and it turns out that she’s his girlfriend.

At this moment, I couldn’t fall asleep fast and it got worse and worse from time to time until it reached the point where I sometimes only slept for two hours. By the way I use concealer to cover my eye bags.

One day he approached to me to check on me if I was okay and I kind of lied, because I said I studied late at night for chemistry and he offered to be my tutor, which I accepted.

During our first tutor lesson we almost kissed if Jihye didn’t burst in my room. One day we hung out together and then we kissed, I even slept at his place. I’m sorry Felix if my mom bombarded you with messages.”

Felix ‘s confused look lights up within seconds after being enlightened by Jisung. “Ahhh, that’s the reason why she texted me.”

“Uh huh, but back to the story. The whole weekend he avoided my messages and at school he told me that he and his girlfriend decided to go on a break. But later the day he said everything’s going to fast for him and he needs time.

On the day where we went to the funfair I saw him kissing his girlfriend which made me upset, confused and sad and then these things happened with you guys.“

“And what now?” asks Hyunjin him after Jisung finished his story.

Jisung scrunches his brows together. “What do you mean?”

“Did that guy send you any messages since then?” steps Seungmin in for Hyunjin.

“No, not a single one.”

“Wait, is the dude you’re talking about Lee Minho, who’s friends with Bang Chan?” Jisung nods his head at Hyunjin’s question.

Felix suddenly straightens up, which startles Jisung for a millisecond and gains like that the attention of his friends.

“Do you know what you’re going to do now?” Jisung shakes his head at Felix’s question. “You take your phone and message ‘I am done with your bullshit. Don’t talk to me or text me if you’re still in your relationship.’”

“Isn’t that a bit too harsh?” questions Hyunjin, while twisting his mouth.

Jisung doesn’t really listen to the answers since he’s busy with fighting himself if he should do that what Felix requested him to do. But is there an argument against the idea? He’s fucking tired of the game that Minho plays with him.

He snatches his phone from the table, unlocks it and opens the message app.

 

**_jisung_ **

_just wanted to say that im done w ur bullshit_

_don’t text me or talk to me until you cleared things up w ur gf_

After Jisung presses the button to send the message, he quickly locks his phone and slides his phone on the table. “I send the message to Minho.”

“Really?” shouts Seungmin, being totally surprised and shocked that his friend had the courage to something like that.

Hyunjin notices how the uneasy feeling Jisung creeps underneath his skin. “Jisung, you don’t need to feel bad that you do something like this. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“Yeah, you’re right. What are we going to do now?”

“I guess we wait”, suggests Seungmin, while his friends nod their head in agreement.

Jisung’s phone vibrates on the table, which he snatches faster than a thunderbolt to read the message aloud. “What are you doing?”

“Say that you’re chilling”, says Felix.

 

**_jisung_ **

_chilling_

 

“Should I’ve wrote a smiley at the end?”

Felix frowns. “No, it should be straight up. No emotions.”

In the next second, Minho responds to his message, which Jisung reads out. “I’ll be in seven minutes at your place.”

Jisung’s eyes grow big as soon as he finished reading the sentence, looking at his friends with an open mouth. His friends share the same shocking expression on their face.

Seungmin is the first one who speaks. “That was so unexpected.”

“I think this is the sign for us to leave.” Felix stands up, stretching his limbs. Without any protests, the other boys heave themselves from the floor and join Felix, walking to the front door.

Jisung follows them, leaning with his back against the wall, smiling at his friends while they’re fighting about whose shoes belong to which person. They slip in their jackets and hug Jisung quickly before they leave. As soon as they open the door, the pouring rain already waits for them.

Jisung pulls a blue umbrella from the umbrella stand, pressing it in Hyunjin’s hand. “I don’t want that you catch a cold.”

“Thank you”, smiles Hyunjin sincerely at him, appreciating Jisung’s worry about him, Felix and Seungmin. “Bye Jisung, thank you again for the food and good luck.”

“No problem, please be careful at your way home.”

“Of course. Bye.” His friends exit his house and wave at him, which he retorts smilingly.

He closes the door behind him and starts to clean up the mess in the living room. Firstly he begins to throw the boxes, where the food was, in the trash can. Afterwards he collects the UNO cards from the table, providing the pile in the box. From the kitchen he takes the dirty rag from the sink, wetting it with warm water to remove the crumbs from the table.

Suddenly he hears someone knocking vigorously against the door, making him to drop the rag from his hand. He jogs to the front door, rubbing his moist hands on his pants to dry them. Jisung opens the door and in front of him stands a panting Minho, his rain-drenched clothes and hair sticking on his wet skin.

“Can I come in?” asks Minho, trying to catch his breath.

Jisung nods his head, steps aside, so that Minho enters the house and closes the door. Minho slips quickly out of his soaking shoes, hissing quietly at the sudden contact with the cold floor.

“Let’s go to my room.”

 

 

 

 

“So you cleaned your room”, notices Minho with an amused smile as soon as he enters Jisung’s room, who’s already distancing himself from him, showing him his back.                                                   

“What do you want?” says Jisung with a stern voice, ignoring his comment, not seeing how the smile from Minho’s face falls.

“I want – no I need to talk with you”, corrects Minho himself.

Jisung scoffs, rolling annoyingly his eyes. “About what?”

“Us.”

That is a fucking joke. Jisung turns on his heel, scowling incredulously at him. “There is no us.”

“Jisung-“

“No, don’t Jisung me”, interrupts him Jisung, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I’m tired of this. You fucking lied to me, Minho. You said, that you and your girlfriend decided have a break but a few days later you go with her on the funfair, having fun and kissing her! And I’m not jealous; I’m fucking upset and mad!”

The tears run down his face, which he quickly wipes away with his sleeve. Fuck, he didn’t want to cry but it feels good to let the emotions out which he has bottled up during the days.

“I broke up with her.”

“Wow and in a few days you’ll stick your tongue in her mouth again, right?” says Jisung, throwing his hands frustrated and angrily in the air, letting them fall next to his body.

“No, I’ll not, it’s completely over. You have to trust me.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I like you a lot, Jisung”, whispers Minho, “Only you.”

Minho steps towards Jisung, expecting him to take a few steps back but instead he stands rooted to the ground, only turning his head sideward to avoid his eyes. As soon as he stands in front of him, he carefully lays his hands on Jisung’s cheeks, who shivers at the cold touch on his skin.

“Can you please look me in the eyes?” begs Minho him, hearing the pain in his voice.

 Jisung refuses. He knows exactly, that if he looks him in the eyes, he’ll be lost in them and forget all the things Minho did in the past few days. But does he want it to forget it? At one side he doesn’t want to forget it, but at the other side he wants to forget it.

The only thing he truly wants is to ease the pain in his heart, who’s been suffering throughout the past days.

He slowly turns his head and as soon as their eyes met, all the pain vanishes in front of his eyes like smoke; his heart thrums furiously in his chest, feeling how his knees grow weak.

Before the words could even leave Minho’s mouth, Jisung grabs roughly his neck and slams his lip to Minho’s. As their lips touch, sparks fly in every direction and it seems like that the world slowly disappears around them, along with their pain and worries.

Minho melts into the kiss and automatically wraps his muscled arms around Jisung’s waist, pushing him closer to his body, while Jisung loops his right arm tighter around Minho’s neck. He never knew that such a small kiss can be so electrifying. He feels how Minho adds more pressure to the kiss, deepening the kiss until it turns into a passionate one, which sets Jisung’s body on fire.

Maybe it was a big mistake of Jisung to kiss him but he gives zero fucks, because he missed this feeling so much, the feeling of their hearts and minds melting into one.

He missed Minho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello there :)
> 
> first of all, my fic reached 100+ kudos and i don't know what else to say except for thank you??? thank you so so much for reading, liking and enjoying the fic. i never really thought that there will be people who'll read my fic since i only do it out of fun and to let my mind be a little hit creative. the chapter is a little bit longer than usual to show my gratitude and i hope y'all enjoyed the chapter, especially the ending hihi. 
> 
> and also it's the first time that i don't upload a chapter in the night lol :')
> 
> a n yways see you in the next chapter !! :))


	9. chapter 9

The radiant morning sun peaks above the sky, his bright rays trickle through the blinds while its shines land on Jisung‘s face. He squints at the louminous streaks of the sun landing on his face, he turns his head to the darker side to avoid them. He opens his eyes, his eyelashes faintly batting against his lids when he blinks, trying to sharpen his blurry vision.

His vision sharpens, seeing that the other side of his bed is empty.

So Minho coming to his house was a just a dream, that felt too real for him? Or did Minho wake up early and left him because something had come up?

Jisung’s eyes fill with tears, which he tries to hold back but without success; they burst forth like a neverending waterfall, spilling down his face, the tears soaking the pillow beneath him. He wipes with the back of his hand the running tears away while trying to inhale and exhale regularly.

He pulls the soft, warm blanket from his body, sits up, and drag his feet of the bed, hissing quiety as he touches the cold floor barefoot. He stretches his arms above his head, while a small yawn leaves his mouth.

After the small stretching he pushes himself from his bed; he walks towards his closed door, opens it up and closes it as soon as he exits his bedroom. He stands all alone on the floor, turning unnecessarily around his own center. Something is off here.

Suddenly he scrunches his eyebrows together, hearing different voices talking and giggling. Jisung climbs the stairs down in a rush, the voices coming from the dining room. He walks into a scenario which makes his jaw drop lightly; Minho sits with Jihye and Mrs. Han at the with dishes setted dining table, cupping a mug where the steam rises up in the air. His eyes sparkle like during their conversation, his lips are curled into a smile and he nods his head a few times.

Damn, Jisung could stare at his serene face the whole day. He’s truly god’s best work.

“Good morning Jisung!” The gentle voice of mother snaps him out his trance and also Jihye stops her conversation with Minho while turning their heads in his direction, where he stands barefoot in his pyjama, which consists of a dark blue, thin sweatpants and an oversized, white T-shirt, and with his messy brown hair.

Minho gleams at the sight of Jisung, stands up from his chair and walks to him, greeting him with a short kiss on his chubby cheek. Jisung feels how the tips of his ears turns red, burning like fire, making his heart flutter.

“Good morning, Sungie. Did you sleep well? Oh, do you want also some coffee?”

“Morning, y-yeah I-I did and u-uh s-sure why n-not?” Jisung stutters, still in shock over the whole scenario right now. While Minho leaves his side to fill some coffee in a cup, his mother slowly stands up. “I have to help Jihye with her homework. In the pan on the stove is your breakfast. If you both need something; Jisungie you know where the things are provided.”

Jihye sends her mom a confused face, starting to protest, but as soon as her mom gives her this certain look, Jihye’s smile turns into a smirk, knowing her mother’s plan.

“Enjoy your meal boys”, says Mrs. Han before she leaves the dining room with a giggling Jihye and a confused Jisung, who’s still standing next to the wall with a half open mouth.

Minho places the cup and the pan on the table, giggling at Jisung’s facial expression as he turns his head in his direction. After he lays the cup on the table, he roams to Jisung, putting his fingers beneath his chin to close his mouth.

“Let’s eat before the drool runs down your chin.”

Minho’s warm, soft hand wanders over his arm down to his cold hand, intertwining their fingers. He walks back to his place, pulling Jisung behind him who finally frees himself from his position. Jisung lets of Minho’s hand go, taking a seat so that they sit across from each other and smile to each other.

 

 

  
“Is something wrong?” Minho asks, leaning against the edge of the countertop while observing how Jisung provides the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Jisung shakes his head. “No, everything is fine.” He puts the last plate in the dishwasher, closes it and turns around to Minho, who raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Han Jisung”, warns him Minho with a teasing voice.

“Lee Minho”, replies Jisung in the same tone.

“Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? I’m just… you know…. A little bit worried?”

Jisung sighs quietly, roaming to the kitchen island where he clamps his fingers under the edges of the countertop to sit on top of it, watching his legs dangle. Minho pushes himself away and walks towards him until their faces are few inches apart, wrapping his arms around his waist. Jisung leans slowly in; his forehead rests against Minho’s and he feels Minho‘s breath tickling on his skin.

“I was scared that you coming to my house was not reality“, confesses Jisung in a lower voice, looking deep in his eyes.

“But it’s reality, I‘m here. With you.”

A silence occurs, the only thing to hear is the radio host talking in the background about the current news.

Minho leans in, his lips brushing Jisung‘s lips, who tilts his head more to deepen it, looping his arms tightly around his neck, running his hand in his hair and tucking lightly his chocolate brown hair. He presses his tongue to the seam of his lips and, at Jisung’s grant of success, delve inside his mouth. Unlike the other kisses they‘ve shared is this kiss not an innocent, gently one but a hot, fiery, passionate and sloppy one.

Jisung‘s brain totally shuts down; the only thing that he has on his mind is Minho, Minho and Minho. As if these kisses are the only thing that keeps him breathing.

Suddenly Minho pulls away from the kiss, making Jisung whine quietly. He frowns focused, listening closely to the music, which tootles out of the radio. The frown disappears instead a smirk spreads on his face as he hears the song, unwrapping his arms from his face, turning quickly around to the radio to turn up the volume.

“Honestly, this song is so fucking good!” says Minho, nodding his head to the rhythm of the funky pop song.

Now it‘s Jisung‘s turn to frown at his sentence. “You mean One Kiss?“

Minho nods his head energetically.

“I‘m sorry to disappoint you but this song kind of sucks.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Sorry not sorry.”

“Come on, Jisung! This song is fucking awesome.”

Jisung presses his lips into a thin line, while shaking his head in disagreement. “Not my cup of tea.”

He dances smoothly with his upper part of his body to the beat, while Jisung observes him, having a judging look on his face, which fades as soon as Minho laughs, giving zero fucks. Jisung slowly nods his head to music, hoping that Minho doesn’t see it, but Minho catches him indeed.

“Hah! You like it.”

“I just-”

“Don’t even deny it, Han Jisung.”

“Okay, okay, you’re right maybe the song isn’t even that bad.”

Minho has a wide, victorious and proud smile on his face. He leans slowly in until their lips are dangerously close, but not touching each other, mouthing the lyrics of the song.

One kiss is all it takes  
Fallin’ in love with me  
Possibilities  
I look like all you need

Without a warning Jisung connects their lips, nearly knocking all wind from his lungs. Jisung inhales, the scent of natrual flowers creeping through his nose. Both of them loose themselves instantly into the kiss, addicted of each others lips.

What a great way to start a Saturday morning.

 

 

On Monday, Jisung walks alone on the hallway, his friends probably late for unknown reasons, gripping tightly the straps of his backpack. During his walk, he spots Changbin standing in front of his locker, having (as always) an annoyed face, taking stuff out of his locker while wearing his earphones. He walks towards the boy, tapping carefully on his shoulder to gain his attention, which worked since Changbin turns his head in his direction, frowning at the younger one, unplugging one of his earphones from his ear.

“Hi”, greets Jisung him, sending him a timid smile.

“Hello”, says Changbin in a monotone voice, closing his locker door.

“I’m here to apologize because of the things I’ve said the last time we saw each other. I realized that the things I’ve let out were completely dumb and careless. Thank you for educating me about this topic.”

Changbin sighs quickly, but a smile creeps on his lips. “I accept your apology, but the most important thing is that you realized your mistakes.”

“Just wanted to say that I came out to my mom, sister and friends”, whisper Jisung that only Changbin could hear him, turning Changbin’s look into a surprising one.

“Wow, someone got confident, huh?” teases Changbin him with a mischievous smile, Jisung responds with a shrug. “I think your friends search for you.”

Jisung turns his head over his shoulder and Changbin is right; Hyunjin’s, Felix’s and Seungmin’s eyes wander through the hallway, searching for the boy until Seungmin finds him, pointing at him and the other two boys could recognize him, waving at him vigorously, walking towards him. He shakes his head amusingly, retorting the wave before turning back to Changbin.

“By the way you gained four new fans.”

“What?”

“Don’t pretend to be a fool, Changbin. I know that you’re SpearB. Your song is really good.”

“T-thank you”, stutters the boy at his compliment, feeling how his cheeks start to burn.

“You’re welcome.”

“Jisung!” greets him Hyunjin with a big hug, which he returns, greeting in the meanwhile the other two with a handshake. Jisung pulls away from the way, turning to Changbin, who’s been watching the whole scenario.

“Changbin, these are my friends; Seungmin, Felix and Hyunjin”, introduces Jisung his friends, while pointing at each of them with his finger.

“Hi.”

“Hello, nice to meet you”, grins Felix at him, which Changbin replicates.

“If you want to, you can eat lunch with us”, proposes Hyunjin and his friends nod their heads in agreement.

“Thanks for the offer but it’s okay if I eat alone”, declines Changbin his offer friendly, “I don’t want to ruin your reputations.”

Seungmin snorts. “Who the fuck cares? It’s sad that you sit all alone because you’re ‘different’. Come sit with us.”

“Okay.”

Jisung’s phone vibrates, which he fishes out of his pocket to see the message. As soon as he reads from who the message is, a warm smile appears on his lips.

Hyunjin notices obviously and starts to tease him. “Jisung got probably a message from his lover boy Minho.”

“By the way when are we going to meet him? Not gonna lie I’m kinda excited to meet him.”

“I don’t know”, answers Jisung, while unlocking his phone to respond to Minho’s message.

  
 _ **minho <3:**_  
 _hello_ <3  
wanna go to grab some coffee and hang _out at my place after school?_

 __ **jisung:**  
hii!!   
of course!  

_**minho <3:**  
nice, see you then <3_

_**jisung:**  
see you then <3_

  
Suddenly, an unknown number texts him a certain message.

 ** _unknown_** **_number_ :**  
_hello is this han jisung?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello !! :))
> 
> i hope y’all had a great start in 2019 :)) im sorry for the short chapter but i hope you liked it anyways :’)) and thank u so much for the kudos and the lovely comments !! <33
> 
> love y’all & see u in the next chapter uwu


	10. chapter 10

Jisung frowns after reading the lines of the message, wondering who it could be. Did he give someone his number the last few days? No, he would remember it if he’d done it and his friends wouldn’t give his number to a random stranger without asking him beforehand.

“Is something wrong?” asks Seungmin after notices the sudden frown on Jisung’s face.

“Did someone of you give someone my phone number lately?”

His friends exchanged amongst each other confused looks before they shook their heads as a response. “Why do you ask?”

“Hm. Weird. I received a message from a number I don’t know.”

“That really is weird,” agrees Felix.

Jisung decides to ignore the messages, closes the Messages app and pockets his phone in his jacket, giving his attention to his friends. He isn’t sure if he’ll even reply but if it is the case then the stranger can surely wait a few more hours.

“Anyway, let’s go to the cafeteria. I’m starving.”

\---

While Seungmin, Hyunjin and Felix are standing in the queue to get their lunch, Changbin and Jisung decide to already sit down at the four friend’s favorite table since they’ve brought food from home. As they sit down vis-à-vis to each other, they pack out their lunch, wishing a good appetite to each other before they start to eat.

Jisung doesn’t want to lie: It is fucking awkward right now. None of them has said a word since they’ve sat down on the table. They both just mind their own business and eat quietly their food but the silence between them makes Jisung insane.

He just can’t stand the silence that occurs between them.

“So, Changbin. How did music especially rapping gain your attention?”

Changbin stops to chew his food, every muscle in his body tensing up at Jisung’s question, almost impossible to overlook it. He looks up to Jisung with wondering eyes, his cheeks puffed from the noodles, which are clamped between his chopsticks.

“I don’t really know I just tried it out one day and I really liked it”, Changbin says after swallowing his noodles. “I just needed something to distract myself from everything that had been going on in my environment, you know.”

Jisung nods understanding, shooting him an encouraging smile. “Tell me more, what do you like the most about producing and writing music?”

Changbin hums pensive at his question, his eyes wander to the ceiling. A small pout forms on his while he pokes his cheeks on his chopstick. “I can be creative. There is no one who can tell that the thing I’m doing is wrong because there’s nothing wrong about art.

Music itself is incredible. The sounds… they have such an impact on a human. They often tell you a story. It’s up to you if you actually understand it.”

Jisung fondly looks at Changbin, who continues to talk about music with sparkly eyes and a bright smile while gesturing things with his chopsticks in the air. However as soon as Changbin eyed to his left side, his exciting expression suddenly changes to his normal, stern look at the same time he lowers his chopsticks, continuing to eat as if the conversation between never happened.

Jisung glances to the side to see what caused Changbin’s sudden personality shift. His eyes follow their movements; from sitting down at the table to frowning at the food that lies in front of their noses.

He turns his head back to his food and presses his lip into a thin line, surpressing himself to exhale out a frustrated sigh.

For the first time Changbin has decided to slowly open himself up towards Jisung. The boy surprises him but in a positive way. Jisung has never thought that Changbin would show him his private and passionated side.

Even though Jisung finds it a pity that Changbin hides this side of him from the others but Jisung isn’t mad at him for that. After all he’s well-known in this school for being gay (Jisungs friends and himself excluded) and not because of his true self.

“I should start to take food from home just like Jisung and Changbin,” says Hyunjin, scrunching his face in disgust as he plays with the weird beige mash on his plate.

“Maybe it doesn’t taste as unappetizing as it looks like,” Seungmin claims before tasting it.

Felix looks skeptical at him. “Yeah… Sure.”

Seungmin groans at the behavior of his two friends. “Oh my god, you both are so annoying.”

He eats a spoon of the mash, ignoring the anticipated gazes of Felix and Seungmin. After he swallows it, he glances at them. “See? It isn’t that bad, you both are just picky and fucking cowards. Quit staring and start to eat your food.”

___

Jisung provides his school books into his locker as someone covers his eyes with their hands, making Jisung gasp at the sudden darkness. With his free hand, he gropes the stranger’s hands, which are soft like silk.

An oddly familiar giggle sounds into his ears. Jisung hums exaggerated. “Who could it be? Is it maybe Minho?”

After voicing out his guess, the stranger removes their hands from Jisungs eyes and he turns around, the smile on his lips widens.

“Ding, ding, ding. 100 points for Han Jisung.”

Minho quickly pecks Jisung’s lips, whose eyes grow big at the action of the older one. Jisung looks panicky around to check if any student has seen them, exhaling a relived sigh as he notices that no one is around.

“Why are you freaking out?”

“I really like you, Minho, but I am just not ready for… you know… doing couple things in public,” says Jisung.

 “Hey, it’s okay,” Minho says as he grabs Jisung’s hands to intertwine their fingers, “just take your time. I can wait.”

“Yeah and I can’t wait for my coffee.”

Minho rolls his eyes at this little lame joke of Jisung but he still couldn’t forbear a giggle.

\---

“Are you free this weekend?” asks Minho, whirling the brown liquid in the mug with the silver spoon.

“I think so. Why do you ask?”

“Good, because you’re going to have the best weekend of your life.”

Jisung raises his eyebrows. “Oh. What are we going to do?”

“It’s a surprise,” Minho says, winking playfully at him before taking a small sip of his coffee.

“Why can’t you just tell me what we are going to do?” pouts Jisung at his boyfriend.

“Because it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore,” explains Minho giggly, holding himself back to give his cute, sulky boyfriend a tiny peck.

As Jisungs phone starts to ring, his pouty face gets replaced by a confused frown. He pulls his phone out, checking the caller-ID on his screen.

_Unknown number._

Instead of pressing the ‘decline’ button, he accepts the call, curious of who’s on the line.

“Hello?” Jisung asks carefully in the phone.

“Hi, it’s me Haeun.”

Jisungs face drops as the caller identifies themself as Minho’s ex-girlfriend. Minho knits his eyebrows as he sees the change of Jisung’s facial expression.

“Who is it?” whispers Minho.

Jisung covers the speaker of his phone. “It’s Haeun.”

Minho rips Jisungs phone out of his hands. “Don’t you dare to call him again.”

As he ends the call, he hands Jisungs phone back, who’s looking at him with confusion written all over his face.

“Why did she call me?”

“I don’t know… probably she wants to control me over you.”

“But why would she do that?”

“Because she’s jealous.”

Jisung doesn’t really know if he can believe Minhos words. Why would Haeun do something like this? She didn’t seem like a crazy ex-girlfriend from the moment they met except she pretended to be nice and actually she despises Jisung. Somehow Jisung can’t imagine that she’s evil.

But he suspects that Minho is hiding something from him. Sure, Minho doesn’t have to tell him anything right away if he isn’t comfortable enough to share it with him. He can and will wait. He just hopes Minho is able to handle it (whatever this problem is.)

“Hey, is everything alright?” asks Minho, his face softened as he sees Jisungs frown.

“Huh? Yeah, I was just… lost in my thoughts.”

“Really?”

“Really,” reassures Jisung with a small smile.

\---

“So… what are the plans?” Jisung asks after he enters Minho’s room, placing his backpack near the working desk. He throws himself on the bed, jiggling in the bed until he finds the perfect position. He lays his hands on his stomach and stares at the white ceiling, waiting for his response.

“How about cuddling and watching a movie?” suggest Minho while closing the door behind him.

Jisung turns his head to Minho, a chuckle leaving his mouth. “So… the regular?”

“The regular,” repeats Minho with a smile.

While the older grabs his laptop from his desk, Jisung quits staring at the ceiling by closing his eyes but not for too long since the mattress underneath him begins to move. He opens one eye to see how Minho uses his knees to inch on his bed.

Once he arrived his destination, he plumps right next to Jisung, who immediately opens both of his eyes.

Minho giggles. “Are you tired?”

Jisung shakes his head. “No, I was just relaxing.”

“Okay if you say so. What movie do you want to watch?”

“I don’t know, you can choose,” Jisung says after he exhales the air from his puffed cheeks.

“Okay… how about Love, Rosie?”

“Oh yeah! I really love this movie,” says Jisung energetically.

He cuddles himself close to Minhos warm body, laying his head on his chest while wrapping his arm loosely around his torso. The soft sound of Minhos heartbeat coming out of his heaving chest lingers in his ears. Minho puts his free arm around Jisung, rubbing tiny circles around his back up and down, his tensed muscles start to relax by his touch.

Even though Jisung has denied that he isn’t tired, he lied. He is extremely tired. And Minho doing all this cozy stuff makes it harder for Jisung to stay awake. The thing is he really wants to be awake, but he couldn’t. He catches himself closing his eyes many times that at one point he just gives up, letting his eyes closed.

With eyes closed, Minho’s hand running through his hair and the sound of his steady heartbeat, he eventually falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh hello?
> 
> i am deeply sorry for not updating over two months but i was so busy with school and myself that i had to neglect in order to focus to get good marks. im also sorry that this chapter is shitty and awfully written. unfourtnately i can't update regularly since i must focus on school and even though im on spring break right now doesn't mean i can relax 24/7... but at least i hope some of you are a little bit happy over this update :')  
> also!!!! i planned a new fanific yaay! i already started to write a bit. plus if you didn't see it i posted a minsung one shot called paint me! if you didn't read it feel free to do it <3
> 
> i wish everyone a nice easter (at least to those who celebrate it) and stay positive!!


End file.
